The Brotherhood of the Traveling (Down) Pants

Far be it for me to criticize the fashion sense of a teenager, but I am now concerned for their future. When I was in high school we wore black concert t-shirts until the holes in them were either too big or had replaced the lettering of our favorite bands. REO SpOOdwagon was just not cool. So although we had what can also be considered a ridiculous trend by someone of my age, we also had our reasons. We were announcing our allegiance to the popular music of the day to both our fellow males and the females we wished to impress.  Which brings me to the title of this blog.

Who does it impress to wear your pants hanging down below your butt? Is the kind of underwear now worn more important than the jeans, therefore a status symbol much like it was depending on which band we had seen?  Does Calvin Klein compare to Jockey as Led Zeppelin did to Rush? Who was the first guy to do this? Someone who had lost an inordinate amount of weight and it looked so ridiculous it became cool (sure I’m dating myself by saying cool.)

But let’s tackle the bigger question. Do girls really like this? Cause let’s face it, that’s why teenage boys do anything.  That’s why men in their 30s do anything.  That’s why men of any age do anything. So is this some kind of reverse baboon red buttocks thing. Are these young men displaying themselves in heat, cause I got news for you fellas, everyone knows. So that can’t be it. Is how low the pants are worn the equivalence of danger once reserved for greasers wearing leather jackets and riding motorcycles? OMG, did you see that, they almost came off. He’s such a bad-boy. Or maybe the color or pattern of the boxers is a status symbol.

I really don’t understand, but then again like I said before I am not here to criticize but to caution them for their safety. You see I am without a car right now and so take public transportation from Long Beach to Los Angeles and have seen some very disturbing things. For one, these guys can’t walk right. I’m sure my grandpa would have wanted to know which horse that young fellow just got off of. As a yoga practitioner I can only be concerned that their hips will need to be replaced by forty instead of eighty because of the rotation. And even though they seem to be comfortable with this “display”, they are constantly pulling up their pants and that’s got to do a little damage to the spine with the constant twisting to one side; I don’t think they alternate.

So gentlemen, I know I hated to hear it when I was sixteen, but think about the future.

Oh and there is one thing I can criticize without hesitation: if you’ve graduated high-school, pull up your pants!