Dangers of the Drive-Thru Pharmacy

This drive-thru pharmacy may look innocent enough, with only one car in line, but gentle reader I warn you: naked to the eye, there is danger!

You see, or actually you can’t see, what this is hiding: the build up of…COMPLAINING.

When one uses the drive-thru pharmacy the most important aspect of the experience is lost: that of complaining about your ailments to the pharmacist and your fellow pharmacy customers.

It’s just not the same to go to the window as it is going inside. Take for example going to the McDondald’s or other fast food drive-thru and complaining:

Speaker: Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order

Driver: Yeah, I’ll have the Big Mac combo, make it large fries and a Coke.

Speaker: Will that be all?

Driver: Ah no, now that you mention it, how ’bout a McFlurry too. Put all the candies in there.

Speaker: That’s all?


(Driver drives his car to the window)

Innocent Underpaid Employee: Your total is $7.62

Driver: (handing over money) You know, you got a lot of nerve being open. This is going to severely impact my diet and it’s all your fault!

IUE: Um, do you not want it.

Driver: Well I have to take it now don’t I? We’ve entered into a verbal contract and I would be some kind of jerk if I didn’t take the food.

Or something like that. My experience with the pharmacy was driving my grandmother to get her diabetes medication. She always insisted the innocent young Asian woman in white, behind the tall counter, was giving her the wrong prescription. And the poor woman every time told her she was giving her exactly what her doctor had prescribed. But my grandmother wasn’t going to hear it. Because then she might have to accept the fact that her still eating candy may be the culprit instead of the incorrect dosage. Then she might realize that she was not fooling me when she would show me the package of sugar-free candy to ask if I’ve ever tried them because they’re delicious in the hopes I wouldn’t notice the bag of fun-sized Snickers. And she might even have to realize that there’s sugar in things like soda and alcohol and candy wasn’t the only culprit.

But it wasn’t just the pharmacist: the seniors that would frequent the drug store at that hour were there to bond with each other. Compare bottles. Compare dosages. And of course, the grandaddy of them all, Compare number of medications taken.

So gentle reader, go inside. Take your relatives inside. Because if that complaining bottles up, you know who’s going to pay-YOU.

P.S. Drive-In pharmacies really are for wimps. Get out of the car. If you’re using the drive-up you probably need the exercise.