I Miss the Meatballs

I moved from Chicago to Southern California 2 1/2 years ago. I’d always wanted to move here and it’s turned out to meet those expectations like a concierge at a fancy hotel opening the door. But there’s things I miss about Chicago:

I miss the rain. It doesn’t rain here. Rain here is the equivalent of a cheap squirt gun-you get a lithe stream for a few squeezes of the trigger and then it just spits. People freak out here when it rains, since it happens so infrequently, but they have no clue what rain attacking at a 45 degree angle feels like.

I miss the thunderstorms. Again, infrequent rain=infrequent thunder, and please refer to the above to see how the rain here falls and then imagine how often thunder accompanies it.

I miss people flipping each other off. In Chicago, when you do something douche-y in your car, the other driver flips you off. Perhaps you return it, perhaps you just accept you deserved it. Either way, it’s part of the driving experience and it’s on the DMV test. If you do that in Southern California, you would think you’d slapped someone’s baby, the look is just “Dude, that’s harsh.” They also often say that. Fact is, there’s more douche-y drivers. More lanes=more opportunities for bad driving.

I miss skateboard-free sidewalks. OMG, you have to move out of the way! And it’s not just teens. Guys in their 30s use it as transportation. I see people dressed for work.

While we’re at it, ride your bike on the street! There is never any traffic in Long Beach, rush hour here could be compared to too many fat people on It’s a Small World, yet people insist on riding their bikes on the sidewalks. They even built bike lanes and no one uses them!

I apologize, that was not that funny. I just really needed to get that off my chest. Now let’s return to the subject of today’s blog:

I miss winter hats. On women, I don’t care about guys. But there’s something really cute about a woman in a winter hat, especially if she has long curly hair. Yesterday I saw a dude at the laundromat with a winter hat and a tank top. That’s just douche-y.

I miss: Grant Park and the spitting fountain in Millennium Park, really tall buildings that you almost fall over when you look up, Wrigley Field, the public transpiration system (the El) that’s sooo much better than it is out here, the street fests, Lincoln Square, the (better) guacamole at El Tapatio, St. Patrick’s Day really being celebrated and all the people I met there that I don’t see often enough when I visit.

I miss making my folks laugh every couple of weeks when I’d visit.

And, since I don’t get back often enough, I miss my mom’s meatballs.

I’m sure everyone in Chicago will get all of this and everyone in California will think I’m a douche. I’m flipping you off.