Losing It vs Lost It

I think I’m losing it. I got some news this afternoon that is really bad for my finances, which are basically non-existent at the moment already. But I don’t want sympathy; that’s not the point of this blog. I want to turn my pain into your pleasure. My fear into your frivolity. My s*%t into your smile. And if that kind of selflessness doesn’t prompt you to think to share this with as many friends as you can to help me get followers, well then I feel sorry for your mother.

What constitutes losing it? I’ve never seen anyone I know whose behavior changed so much I thought “whoa that dude is losing it.”

Maybe you can help me. Is it losing it when you pass people at a sidewalk cafe and start screaming “Does that taste good? Is that chimichanga cheesy enough for you? It’s gonna look great on your fat thighs!” simply because you don’t know when you’ll be able to eat out again.

Is it bad when you see someone on a date and you look down at your crotch and say “gonna be a lot longer til we can ask someone out buddy” and your junk flips you off?

Does trying to confuse a homeless person into believing you’re the one that was asking and they should give you what they’ve collected constitute losing it?

If you feel like you’re losing it will you know when you’ve lost it? Will someone come up to you and hold up your sanity and logic like a set of car keys and say “you dropped these”?

Will you get anything in the mail that says you may no longer make decisions the same way you’re informed your credit limit has been frozen?

Will your friend’s tell you or will they just stop calling? Will everyone start to just say “Hi” on Facebook, posting on your Wall but not emailing in person?

Will you get a Christmas card that says “From the Robinson’s” in that gold embossed lettering but you won’t get the three page letter about what happened to everyone that year?

Will it matter? Will you care if you drool in your sleep but wear the same t-shirt that day? Will you care what, where and how many hairs grow out of your nose? Will you talk to yourself more? Less? Find you only want to talk to you?

Will you forget all your mistakes, disappointments, regrets, grudges, shortcomings, insecurities, inadequacies and unattained goals?

Hmmm. Maybe you’d find something when you lost it.