A Message from God

 

Hello. ¬†Hello. Is this on? Can you all hear me down there? STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING.

Good. Just listen for a second and then you can get back to totally ignoring all the things I created and go back to obsessing over Twitter.

I just had to speak up because of this whole chicken thing. Dan Cathy of Chick-Fil-A: first off silly name. Second I never said that a marriage is between a man and a woman. No one’s ever talked to me. That’s just what someone wrote way back when in a book. And then it got misinterpreted through the ages. That’s the Word of God as interpreted by someone else.

Here’s the fact. I made everything and then that was that. I made a deal with myself that I would create the Heavens and Earth and then sit back and see what happens. I’m not ready to intervene yet.

I mean My Me. There are far more blunders you all have made that I should have intervened in and given my opinion. In the last 100 years there’s been that guy with the little mustache, the guy with the turban and let’s not forget what the guy did to my only son. Cause he certainly won’t let me forget it!

And they’re all in the name of what people think I say.

Wronnnnng.

And really if I had such an opinion about homosexuality don’t you think I would have done something about the Catholic priests and their proclivities?

And before you all hug yourselves thinking you’re right, Dan Cathy can say whatever he wants to say. You’re not better than he. You didn’t win. You all need to express your opinions, take them in, offer yours and do it all without hurting anyone, judging anyone and causing the media to obsess over it. Because that just breeds more misinterpretation and silly debate. And you do not need that down there. The only things that you should be doing are trying to love each other more and oh, yeah, Gore was right. Figure that mess out and reverse it cause it stinks up here.

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