The Nose Knows..


Nothing! The Nose knows nothing! Or at least mine doesn’t. Because it is not easy to get a date when you’ve got a long nose hair creeping out and saying howdy

I haven’t had a date for some time now. It seems the rest of my body is doing its best to cooperate, responding to the exercise and healthy eating I’ve been giving it, feeling good. But my nose seems to have something against me. How many times has it done this to me without my knowledge. Now I have hedge, I mean nose trimmers. I am cursed by some Italian thing or something whereby there ain’t nothing on top but it sprouts out of my ears and nose with the utmost speed. I can usually catch it. But then there’s morning like this one, when I shower then finish shaving in the mirror and BANG there it is, this long black tentacle looking thing crawling down from my nostril presumably to shake hands with my mustache.

How many times has that happened when I’ve been talking to a girl? Does the little sucker snake out and hiss? I didn’t think there were that many lesbians.

What did I do to it? Smell the wrong flower? Squeeze too hard with a tissue? Bury it in the wrong woman? Come on fellas, give a guy a break. Women smell nice. I promise to give you a woman with great hair to snuggle into, a natural scented beauty to graze along her shoulder. And I promise to check her feet, cause we know we’ve got something to be attentive to there as well.

But you help me and I help you. We can do this, together!