In Praise of Farts

Be warned: THIS IS GOING TO BE SILLY.

If you just recently started following me because of my Freshly Pressed post Evolution of a Friend, and you prefer the more heart-warming yet funny side, just come back tomorrow. I will not be going all Monty Python on you; I’m just feeling rather silly.

And I don’t think enough is said about farts. Those lift up your butt cheek, pull my finger little expellations (yep made it up) that can cause a five year old to fall over laughing. Now, I don’t have a fetish; I don’t follow people in the hopes that they’ll let one go and I can smell it. I’ve never lit one nor seen a flaming explosion as the result of lighting one.

I just think they’re funny.

And come on, who doesn’t? That our butts can toot is proof that God has a sense of humor. And if God does not exist, it proves that Science is funny. Either way, it’s a great noise, it doesn’t hurt anybody, and it usually makes everyone laugh.

Plus, it’s the great equalizer.

Everybody farts. Just like everybody poops. But unlike pooping, which after the age of three, is usually done in private, farts most often come out in public. When we don’t want them to. Yes, farts can expose our indiscretions and tame our egos. Who out there has not eaten something they shouldn’t; be it refried beans, peanuts, fried foods, and not been “outed” by the public fart. It’s your body telling you not to eat that. It’s not for you. Yet we insist and it persists. Give it the wrong fuel and out comes the gas. Too much drip and let her rip. Eat a slice of cheese and cut the cheese. You get the picture.

But even stronger than the fart’s desire to expose our unwillingness to work with our bodies is its desire to balance our egos.

Any time that you think too much of yourself, are too worried about some silly really insignificant thing in the scope of your life-you’ll fart. It will embarrass you, surprise you, force you to lie and say it wasn’t you; but it will also humble you. It will put you back in the human race where everybody’s got problems and everybody has that happen to them. And it doesn’t matter.

Everybody farts.

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14 thoughts on “In Praise of Farts

  1. LOL!

  2. This was just the kind of post I needed to read on the Friday after a long, tiring week. Too funny! My dad used to call the soundless ones:SBDs (Silent But Deadly). It was so cool growing up and seeing that he had a sense of humor about a bodily function that tends to wreaks havoc at the most inopportune time!

    Best,
    Nett

  3. I didn’t expect to be reading a blog post about farts today, but I’m very glad that I did. Keep up the good work.

  4. My Dad used to cal it “Bang-Bang,” and would ask, “Who did that?” When we all knew he did it!! Yes, so funny!!

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