Random Acts of My Brain

For regular readers, sorry I’ve been absent from my blog, which I try to write everyday. It was due to, hmm what to call him? Let’s see there’s Father Time, Mother Nature, so maybe Distant Cousin Technology.

So I’m returning with my favorite kind, The Random List or Water Cooler Talk like I call it on Wednesdays. Hope you giggle.

If 2 plus 2 is always 4, how come people sometimes just have one child?

You know the old turtle and the hare race, where the turtle wins at the end cause the hare’s so cocky? I had rabbits, they do not run in a straight line, they jump in the air and spin around, they’d never even get close to the finish line.

So the song goes “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus”. Um, did he tell the Mrs?

With all the improvements in modern manufacturing, why can’t they make candles as good as the original Hanukah ones? The best ones still only last one day.

Did the person that invented toilet paper have some sort of stomach thing and just had to keep going and going?

So a penis has a little hole and a vagina has a bigger one, so why aren’t they more polite and talk to each other: “May I come in?” “Yes you may.”

When I read science fiction as a kid we were going to have flying cars and jet packs. All we ended up with is corrupt government and Big Brother watching.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, will two take care of the lawyers too?

Room spelled backwards is moor, and they’re backwards versions of each other.

I wish the Great Pumpkin really existed cause I really like pumpkin seeds.

Oh yeah and I hope he’s really huge so he can smoosh Zombies cause I just don’t get the Zombie thing.

I don’t think fun size candy bars are that much fun. Now one of those 5 lb bags of M & M’s!

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4 thoughts on “Random Acts of My Brain

  1. good lines..I wouldn’t say..missed you..that would be over rated..didn’t miss you..that is rude..nice having you back..thats perhaps soothing

  2. Welcome back amuzings, you were missed.

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