The Wolfman

Few people know that the Wolfman uses Rogaine.

Actually the hair has always been a problem. Fact is, he was bit as a child and so it didn’t always come in so lustery and full as one sees in the photos. At first it was very blotchy: a little around the elbow, a tiny speck on the cheek that looked more like a pimple, and maybe some additional on the buttocks. So for those first few full moons, he really just looked like a kid with a very unusual puberty.

The hair didn’t fully come in until he was well into his 20s but the truth is closer to the Lon Chaney Jr. version than it is to more modern depictions where he turns into a wolf. After all, he is the Wolf-Man, so really it’s just on the head, hands and feet mostly, his chest and stomach are as smooth as Matthew McConaughey.

There’s also an issue with the teeth. Poor dental hygiene and an English upbringing meant the fangs were at first crooked and not very menacing. Looked more like a drunk trying to gum a muffin.

And then there’s the growl. In the beginning it sounded like he was clearing his throat. That progressed to a slightly more manly coughing sound but didn’t reach its full pitch until his 30s.

So that whole Teen Wolf series really is just a fantasy, the truth being that puberty for a Wolfman, or Wolfboy, is the same as any real boy.

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4 thoughts on “The Wolfman

  1. Wow, who knew??

  2. the wolf-man..was once young and went through puberty too, but before he got really old..he had acquired, sans eyes, bad breath, fouls smell, thinning hair, wrecked nails and very interesting yet,non appealing personality traits..I wonder..he got bitten by a man or a wolf. After all, it may have been that a small wolf got bitten by a very wicked man..

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