And now…Christmas.


There is no rest for the wicked, and by wicked I mean retail. As the full moon set this morning, all over this country (and probably the world but I never remember if it’s tomorrow there or yesterday) retail stores are taking down the Halloween candy to mark it down as stale, I mean special, and starting to put up the Holiday merchandise.

They really ought to move Halloween to June to balance out the year both for the economy’s sake and the buying public’s. We have these two wonderful holidays filled with laughter, good cheer, colors, food, spending and then for six months all we get is Valentine’s Day. Lame.

They should give November 1 a name like they have Black Friday. Maybe they do and I don’t know it. I’m sure each store has it’s own version created by the employees:

“The Day I Hate More Than My Mother’s Meatloaf.”

“The Reason I Want A Career Instead of Working Retail.”

“If I Didn’t Get Drunk on Halloween I”m Sure Going to Get Drunk Tonight.”

There’s no rest; out with the witch costume in with the Santa hats. Out with the pumpkin shaped Snicker’s, in with the toy Soldier shaped Snicker’s (yes i love those, I know I mention them a lot.) Out with the pumpkin shaped trick-or-treat receptacle, in with the all kinds of s#*t to be sold for Christmas.

On Tuesday I saw the Long Beach Parks and Recreation putting these funky metal triangles-supposed-to-look-like-Christmas-trees up along the shoreline with lights I’m thinking will be lit up shortly. I got hired to do a Santa breakfast for November 10. Where’s the break, why not ease up until closer to Thanksgiving? Give everyone a sensory break and then they’ll be ready for it. Cause them to think about all the things they have to get done for Christmas and the stress could hurt the economy more.

Ease up man, even the elves have a lighter day because (if you saw the movie Elf) they loves their sugar and are moving a little slower today.