They Were All Wrong

Deconstructing popular children’s phrases to prove that our grandparents were liars:

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me:  Never broke a bone by either a stick or a stone but Larry yelled “hey Jeff” when I was eight, I turned, then ran my bike into a fire hydrant.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away:  Except when your doctor is pushing 300 pounds and your mom makes killer caramel apples-he seems to need to “re-test.”

Step on a crack, break your mama’s back:  Tried. Every day for a year on the way to school. Nothing.

There’s no place like home:  When I was a kid everybody’s house looked the same, growing up in the suburbs.

Don’t watch t.v. too long or you’ll burn your eyes out:  Hello, we’re on frickin screens all day!

There are starving people in Africa who would gladly eat your dinner!:  Yeah cause that’s all they need is more chemicals.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with just a single step:  Not if you trip.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you:  Um, see recent presidential election.

A fool and his money are soon parted:  See Donald Trump.

Everything happens for a reason:  Don’t even get me started.

 

 

2 thoughts on “They Were All Wrong

  1. so funny

  2. Thanks for the laugh, good way to start off the work week!

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