They’re sneaky. They’ve been planning for a long time. But cats are about to take over the world.
Once again, the public hasn’t been paying enough attention. They knew it. And they’re making their move. Cats have slowly been building off shore accounts and are about to fill their coffers with a tremendous amount of our money.
Everyone knows that cats can seem aloof. But it was all part of their master plan. They let dogs get all the attention, bouncing around and humping our shins, while the cats have been putting their master plan into action. You thought they were “just somewhere, they’ll be back” but they were meeting with bankers, lawyers and money management specialists.
It’s been a long term plan, a long term con. Like George Lucas waiting for special effects technology to develop before he made the three newest (and best*) Star Wars movies, cats have been laying low while the Internet developed in speed and accessibility. They waited while we became obsessed with silly social media outlets.
And now the cats can make their move. Don’t worry, this is not like The Planet of the Apes. They will not be striking with violence. But they will be doing damage, hitting us where it really counts-in our wallets. After years of slowly releasing more and more cute photos online, spreading through Facebook and Twitter, they’re hitting Madison Avenue and agents are negotiating some big contracts. They’ll be rolling around, acting cute, stealing our hearts, and reaping the rewards.
The cats have lied in wait. And now they’re getting paid.