The Movie Musical

I saw a story that Rocky is being turned into a musical. With that and Spiderman, I decided to come up with some titles of my own from television and film.

1. “Bullwinkle: The Musical”

Imagine what Julie Taymor, the creator of the Lion King on Broadway could do with a moose and squirrel. I can only wait breathlessly for the diving into the bucket scene.

Hit Song: “Fan Mail from some Flounder”

2. “All in the Family”

I haven’t seen it, but I understand political incorrectness is alive and well and who better to bring back then Archie Bunker. I”m sure in the last thirty years, he’ll have a lot to say.

Hit Song: Need I say it? “Those Were The Days”

3. “Perfect Strangers”

Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick teamed up again! But who would play who? All I know is the Dance of Joy with those two guys on stage would bring down the house every night.

Hit Song: “Don’t Be Ridiculous”

4. “The Drew Carey Show”

The Drew Carey Show actually had a number of musical-style productions during their run so it’s really a natural. Question is, can Drew Carey leave the cush job at the Price is Right or will someone have to play him?

Hit Song: “Cleveland Rocks”

5. “Silence of the Lambs”

Hey Phantom of the Opera did it, why can’t Andrew Lloyd Weder turn this frightening tale into a full blown musical? The success of Les Miserables proves that people love a depressing, sad story and although a dark horse, could be the hit of 2014.

Hit Song: “Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti.”

 

Three Phrases to Change the World

I consider myself a Simplist. You may have not have heard the definition because I just made it up. Basically, a Simplist believes that things could be a lot simpler, and are in fact quite simple, underneath it all. Society and CNN make it difficult. (I’m kidding CNN.)

One of the core beliefs of the Simplist is that there are three basic phrases that everyone should use:

Please

Thank You

Excuse Me

The very act of using these phrases means that we’re acknowledging other people. By asking “please” you’re inviting people into your world to help. By saying “thank you”, you’re thanking them for being there. And by saying “excuse me”, well you’re eliminating the need for anyone to call you a selfish bastard.

We’re all self-centered, and anyone that doesn’t think so, take a look around you. Ha! Did you do it? The very act of looking around you makes you the center. So you see we’re all self-centered. But by using please, thank you and excuse me, we’re saying it’s ok to be in my circle. Especially if you bring chocolate.

A little politeness could go a long way in this World right now. We can use it in our emails and texts and let people know we “feel” them on the other end of Cyberspace and Dataland (amusement park opening soon) as well as in the grocery store aisles.  Let’s be good to each other.

A Conversation Between Angels XXXIX

“Hey Bill.”

“Hey Ted.”

“A little down? How can you be, it’s Spring.”

“Well, yeah but we don’t get the best part.”

“What, you mean the warm weather?”

“Yeah and what the warm weather brings-women in less clothes. And all it is here is robes robes robes.”

“Ya gotta use your imagination just like we did during the Winters on Earth.”

“But it’s not fair, the Middle Eastern guys that commit suicide get seventy-two virgins.”

“Yeah but it turns out it’s all guys.”

An Introduction to Walking

Uncle_Sam_walking

 

Having spent the last two years as a pedestrian, I can tell you something unequivocally…people don’t know how to walk. But then I thought, “they don’t know how to walk.” We’re given driving instruction but not walking instruction. So I present Jeffery’s Rules of the Pavement.

  1. Walk on the right* Simple really. We drive on the right in this country, let’s just keep the same traffic pattern on the sidewalk. Now I know there are exceptions, in fact, the driver’s ed book I had as a teen said that when there is no sidewalk you should continue to ride your bicycle on the right but walk on the left to see traffic and allow them to see you. Keep that. Drivers love to wave that they see you as you’re starting to cross the street but still go in front of you. Being alive is good.
  2. Watch when crossing Ok, now this is a timing thing. If you cross in the path of someone, decide when you might crash into each other and then speed up or slow down as to avoid smashing into each other and falling onto your butts in a slapstick fashion. This means that you might have to yield to the other individual because it would be stupid rude to simply walk in front of someone because you can’t be bothered and you’re busy on your phone.
  3. Four across If you are over the age of fourteen don’t all take up the entire sidewalk. You are not in the halls of high school displaying dominance. Move over, or better yet, walk two and two so that the oncoming pedestrian does not have to veer off into the dog poop.
  4. Hand in hand This follows number 3 that if you are a couple who is walking together side by side, in blissful love, adjust for oncoming traffic. Let her hand go for a sec you henpecked wuss.
  5. Flow of traffic Just because it is eight am or six pm, it doesn’t mean that everyone is going one way because they’re coming from or going to work. Allow others to get to the train platform. Thank you.
  6. Bells and Whistles If you ride a bicycle on the sidewalk and ring a bell indicating pedestrians should move out of your way, let me point out that the gun laws have not changed yet.

 

I think that about covers it. It is a fault of mine that I am born with a logical brain but I think that things need to be less stressful and move easier in this country, so please give these rules a read. There will be a test. Have a nice weekend.

*European readers may want to change that to the left.

I’m late…

late

 

I’m late to write my blog and I don’t know what to write about. It’s 11:00am PST, way past when I like it to be published and I don’t have any topic in my head.

I usually do them the night before. But I was too busy. I was working. And now I’m having a Tigger day and I don’t know what to write about. A Tigger Day, for those that don’t know, is  a day where I’d rather be bouncing instead of sitting. And it’s not from coffee. I just tend to be very much like that on very beautiful day like today is. Now I know that people in the Midwest and East would scoff at anyone who would say any day isn’t beautiful in Southern California, but for us, and I know I’ve become a wuss based on my recent visit to Chicago, it’s been cold and dreary here this Winter. But not today. No not today. It’s 75, It’s sunny. And I know I want to play. I want to bounce.

I can’t of course, because I still have my web work to be done. But web work means I can stop and spin in my chair. Web work means I can have music playing and my leg can make restless leg syndrome look like the tortoise as I speed by it. I can get up and dance about to a particularly good song. And I do. I love to dance. I am the king of dancing like nobody’s looking. Cause nobody is.

So I’m late. I’m late. For a very important date. With WordPress and GoDaddy and HTML and CSS and my favorite client. And his website. And getting it working. And getting it looking beautiful. But I have to write my blog. I have been getting wonderful new followers and I’m grateful to all that have joined me, those here for the last year and those for the last day. I feel obliged to write something. I appreciate your reading. But I don’t know what to write about.

Oh wait, that’s 330 words. Bye.

How Time Flies…Away

clock

I was recently in a building, spinning around like a dog chasing its tail. It seems, the analog clock is extinct.

In my little mind this brings up two questions; should we be sad and does it matter. Some nostalgic things you can think of and smile, maybe miss. Like the old corded phone that you wrung around your fingers til it was filled with kinks. Old reel-to-reel tape recorders that were just too cool. And of course pots and pans. Oh the crazy past where we made slow food.

But there are still time-telling devices, they just rarely have hands. They’re probably more prevalent, because most of us have a cell phone and a computer. If you’re like me, even thought the clock is right there, you don’t notice it as you visit all manner of science and great literature web pages (wink wink.) In fact, does anyone use it on there. Phones are for games, texting, email, surfing the web-never for the simple functions of telling time or making phone calls.

In fact, over my lifetime, people are indeed less on time. Even though there are more places that tell you the time, we seem to listen that much less. We’ve got more to modernize and make our lives easier, yet we can’t seem to get anywhere any sooner, it’s most often later. And then we blame it on something else.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that we don’t pay attention so much. Maybe we need to relax more and not be in a hurry.

Just don’t forget to pick up your kids.

Water Cooler Talk 4-24-13

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.

If you drive on the right instead of the left when you take your driver’s test in Europe, do you just fail or get extradited to the U.S.?

If salt and pepper secretly change places would the nation’s blood pressure go down?

The NBC logo features no legs anymore. Not so beautiful now are you Mr. Peacock?

In the saying “If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain,”, is Muhammed pissed?

I just passed a dirt clod from 1966.

How come no one ever says “my mom can beat up your mom?” I know some tough ass moms.

If we moved the steering wheels on bicycles to the other wheel, would we be forever chasing the past?

The Beatles wanted to be a Taxman, Paperback Writer and drive a Yellow Submarine. Ya suppose they didn’t really want that music thing that much after all?

Anybody ever used a No. 3 pencil?

How many times do you have to sneeze to be guaranteed a place in Heaven?