The Timmy Awards

The Tony awards were last night, honoring the best and brightest on Broadyway, but what if there were more, shall we say, nominal victories named after someone.

The Timmy

Awarded to the best, most raggedy yet heart-melting delivery of Tiny Tim’s like “God bless us everyone” from A Christmas Carol.

The Bruce

Awarded to the best story of the best concert by Bruce Springsteen. Must be complete with the lines “we were so wasted” or an actual total number of alcoholic drinks consumed.

The Spike

I’ve never seen Spike TV so they may already have an awards show, but in mine the prize goes to the most creative breaking of a beer bottle or smashing of a beer can on one’s own body.

The Suzy

Named after the famed Suzy Homemaker, this statue goes to the cleanest, brightest and most festive 1960s type Thanksgiving display.

The Mike

In a twist this award is for the worst microphone technique and for the past few years has gone to young pop stars lip synching on Saturday Night Live who grunted accidentally.


3 thoughts on “The Timmy Awards

  1. Conversation Award 🙂
    For the one who can do it with or without any help 🙂

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