Amusingz 11

I googled Google and google.com was number two. I think that’s hilarious.

How come ducks never get tan lines where they float in the water?

I think they should be called the “spreads” instead of the “suburbs,” they’re so often larger and everything is further apart.
I believe dodgeball was invented by a p.e. teacher that wanted to throw stuff at his students.
I’m writing a self-help book titled “You Figure it Out.” It’s all blank pages, I’m just not sure how many to put in there.
Has a LIfe Savers candy ever actually saved a life, maybe an ant in the sewer?
Do camels experience hump day?
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12 thoughts on “Amusingz 11

  1. I’ll buy your self-help book.

  2. Very funny way to start my day!!! You’re material is MUCH funnier than that comedian that just got into the semi-finals on AGT!!!!! Why don’t you audition for next season!! People would pay to see “funny, funny, funny” in a Vegas show!! and you could be IT!!!!

    Dodgeball…p.e.teacher…throw stuff at students!!! Yes, yes, yes!! Speaking as a teacher…you are right on!!! Now, can we get the parents of the misbehaving students to play, too?!?! Great post!

    • Speaking as someone that not only taught gymnastics but ran the office and had to get the parents, that had money, to pay….yes!

    • Well that’s kind of my take on an old Stephen Wright bit — “I’m writing a novel, I have all the page numbers.”

      But yes, you teachers are never compensated enough. And I’m visiting Chicago where they’re closing all the schools. I’m amazed that people still go into the profession.

      • They don’t all “go” into it…some fall into it, by process of elimination…don’t do it, unless you LOVE kids!!!

        I don’t like the idea of uneducated kids roaming the streets! It scares me about the future!!

        We need to teach”love of learning!”

      • Yeah mine was just gymnastics, I have immense respect for teachers that have them all day and not just for a fun activity for an hour. It was the same as a magician, the moms would say how amazed they were that I could keep them enraptured for the whole show and I would say “because they’re mine for only 45 minutes and then they’re yours again.”

      • Oh, so true!! Maybe when I have grandkids some day…I’ll have fun with them…and then give them back!! It’s the grandparent American way, right?!?!

        One of our 10 yr. olds at school, is a top gymnastics kid in the state..but has temper tantrums in the classroom…his parents are at their wit’s end!! When we go out for play time, he’s jumping up, on, and over everything on the playground…doing awesome flips!! I tried getting him to join our drama team and put those flips in our dramas, but he’s so depressed all the time…Too bad there’s no school that would just let him train all day…

      • Wow that’s interesting. You know, there are some kids that I think should be treated differently. They just don’t fit the system, but that’s hard to do.

      • Maybe you can come and knock some “funny” into his head to cheer him up!!!!!

  3. P.S. There’s not enough paper in the world for the “You Figure It Out” you-can’t-really-call -it-a-self-help book you’re writing…some people are just clueless…they’ll never figure it out! We should all get paid royally to help them…Oh, we do…we’re called teachers! Ha! Sadly, we don’t get paid enough for this overwhelming job! Have a funny day!!

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