I Love Sturkybooboo, I’m never leaving

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It always seemed to me that Starbucks was not the kind of place you hung out all day. I often would spend time there when there was a big gap between shows, reading or people watching (read:looking at girls) and get a little snippy-to myself-about people that were there working for hours and not buying anything.

But visiting my folks I went to the Starbuck’s in Schaumburg, Illinois, and here, they serve wine and beer after 4:00. This one is already busy, very large, and filled with meetings and laptops and even has a couple of private rooms and outdoor seating. But I can only imagine the party that gets started when the laptops are shut and the last “I think we should…” Is spoken.

This is perfect. You’ve got your morning coffee, meeting, lunch with co-workers, AND happy hour, all in one place! Finally the baristas will get tipped what they deserve-because pouring a glass of wine takes much more skill than getting an espresso drink right-well to a drunk anyways. No more vanilla shots, when are they gonna get Kahlua? This is truly a return to Mad Men days-I’m thinking that 4:00 can keep getting pushed earlier until red eyes are the norm. They’ll just need a deep fryer because Starbucks is very attentive to the needs of the customer so they’re going to need some greasy foods.

In one 24 hour period you can have a top CEO make a million dollar deal over a half decaf soy latte, celebrate with his team and buying everybody drinks them only to have to apologize for any inappropriate things he might have said the next day, when they start all over again.

Do they do this at the Starbucks in hotels because you’d never have to leave. “I love this place and I love the barista and I love the guy who’s dusting the shelves and I love-oh, you’re not a person, you’re just a travel mug-oh what the heck I love you too.”

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2 thoughts on “I Love Sturkybooboo, I’m never leaving

  1. I used to be amazed at the amount of lolly-latte-gaggers. Now I just imagine that it’s not a Starbucks but the student union of the Phoenix University.

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