What would happen if everything just stopped? Like a special effect in the movies, everyone just went still? Except we weren’t frozen, but were forced to stop texting and running and worrying and just stopped. And just like they make you do in church, we had to turn to the person next to us and say something like “Peace be with you” or shake their hand or <gasp> look them in the eyes. For, let’s not get crazy, fifteen minutes.
That’s not too long and that’s not too short. Five minutes everyone could power through. Many could make it without even saying anything. We’ve all waited in a line too long for something and had to deal with that awkwardness. But you go past the five minute mark and you get uncomfortable, you would have to say something. What would you say?
Would you want to post how awkward this is to Facebook? Would you rather know what your friends are saying on Twitter about this instead of asking people right there? Would you remember how to shake a hand?
Would the paparazzi lay down their cameras and ask the celebrities a question about what they’re really thinking and then discover nothing interesting and stop taking their pictures? Would the celebrities discover the people behind the camera were real human beings or discover they’re just creepy period?
Would we talk immediately about Syria and Anthony Weiner and Snowden with the same repetitive ridiculousness of all that we’re fed or would we realize that the person next to us has really blue eyes? And then realize that the sky is really blue and the sun is gorgeous and then take off our shoes and walk in the grass and realize what we’ve been missing?
And then everything would turn back on.
And what would we do? Would we do what everyone promises to do when they go on vacation and swear they’re going to relax and then never do it? Would we get on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and share the beauty of those fifteen minutes or would we just tweet and share and post —