A Balloon’s Life


Being interested in physics, I do know that all objects, even inanimate, are alive. And because of that scientific fact and my professional experience, I believe that a balloon has a very hard life.

First of all, balloons must have real self-esteem issues. At the sight of balloons children are ecstatic! But that can often quickly wane. A child can be thrilled with its selection of an animal balloon dog but be in tears moments later when someone else has something bigger and better. And how might it feel to be squealed over, held firm one minute in the Trader joe’s line and then the next minute you are let go to fly away…alone. No Oz in sight.

Second, balloons must be very conscious of their appearance. They’re like Mexican food, they look amazing coming out and then within ten minutes the luster is gone, the color dulled.

Worst of all, balloons live in constant fear for their lives. The lifespan of a balloon makes a mosquito look like the buddha. I remember lecturing the kids at outdoor parties about the dangers of grass, that even thought the grass feels soft there are little points that BAM you’re dead. A balloon is cherished one second and recycled for condoms the next.

To bring such color and joy at first and to have such a difficult, unstable life, only Lindsay Lohan can relate. My heart goes out for the balloon and I’m glad that I became allergic to latex, I will never again have to feel their pain.


3 thoughts on “A Balloon’s Life

  1. I had no idea a balloon had feelings

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Pingback: Amusingz | I’ll Take Clean

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