Cue Music



I was recently watching an episode of the History Detectives. It reached a point where one of the cast had to do some research. Watching research is boring and since this is PBS there can be no elaborate graphics. Their solution: music.

Suddenly the investigation of someone’s grandfather’s belt buckle is being busted out Dan Brown style!

Yep, suddenly this low budget search feels like Tom Hanks is investigating it. And why not. It makes it far more interesting to watch. It’s just like having pop music play while you watch a montage of a kid grow up at his bar mitzvah.

So why not for everything?

Picture it. You start to feel like you have to pee. You’re driving and the pressure begins to mount. The minute you open the door of your car the music from Mission: Impossible starts to play and it accentuates every action as you go through your door, make your way down the hall, unzip your pants…

I mean why not? We used to play swords over the toilet when we were little boys, it would have been so much more fun if the theme from Zorro was accompanying us.

And I don’t just mean to make this about toilet humor. That stuff just makes me laugh. I mean all the mundane things. What if the music that usually accompanies Darth Vader’s entrance in Star Wars played when you had to do the dishes? It would make them go so much faster. What if the search for missing clothes on laundry day was punctuated by the music of Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Just think how easy it would be to get kids to brush their teeth if their favorite song played when they pulled the tooth brush from its holder. They’d be clamoring for bedtime. And how about us adults? What if our showers were intuitive and just the right song you needed kicked in just as the faucet was turned? How many more people would be smiling all day?

And do I have to mention the intuitive bed that served up just the right music to keep that spark alive? The divorce rate would be cut in half.