Water Cooler Talk 11-13-13

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.

Why do they put those bands around lettuce, are they afraid the leaves are going to escape?

Why do the fast food restaurants, that sell billions, never know how to put enough ketchup in the bag but the frozen soft pretzels have enough salt left over to cure a ham?

I tried to write a poem as a young boy in school but I couldn’t think of anything to rhyme with chalkboard so I grew disinterested and tired.

I wonder if in twenty years or so, there will be an ailment like carpal tunnel syndrome happened to typists, due to people constantly holding their arm out taking pictures of themselves with cell phones.

Was there originally a fight between them to see whose name goes first, peanut butter or jelly?

Why do we say “peel” the banana but never “skin” the apple or “rind” the orange?

“I came, I saw, I conquered” was originally spoken by the caveman, actually cave boy, that went to the first Legoland (made of stone) and smashed the constructions; as boys do.

I wonder if zoo animals are thinking “Don’t pity me. Don’t think you’re better than me. They give me the exact things I am supposed to eat, my caretakers probably care more about my health than anyone in your family and I have really nothing expected of me except to be here. That’s it. I don’t have to perform. I can. But I don’t have to. I can just sit here and it’s still educational, entertaining and you’re paying to come here. Even if it’s free, you’re still paying in taxes, parking and concessions. You’re paying out the butt. So who’s the captive one?”

The opposite of sanity is ytinas. Makes you think doesn’t it?

***If it does, you may want to check yourself into a psychiatric facility, you know, just for a check-up.