A Conversation Between Angels LXXII

“Welcome to Angels Support Group, I’m Peter in case you didn’t remember me from Orientation. It’s our hope that we can answer any questions you might have. Charlie, are there any concerns you’d like to share?”

“Yes, I was wondering if I can go back and change my will because I didn’t realize what a money grubbing-”

“Whoa whoa Charlie, we’re trying to leave our anger there, as well as our pin number. I’m sorry no. Stacy?”

“Yes is this all there is, white? Cause I’m really more of an autumn.”

“Yes, we’re all the same here. And what about you Max?”

“I was wondering when I get to go help someone like Clarence helped George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life?”

“Why Max, that is a very lovely thought, but we need you to get acclimated here first. There’s a really long list.”

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The Challenge Blog

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A recent blog was commented on by one of my longest running followers, sagescenery of http://godssceneryandpromises.wordpress.com and out of it came a very interesting idea for a blog-the challenge blog. That is, give me a topic and I’ll write a blog.

Perhaps it was my ego that got to me. She thanked me for always making her laugh, I said it was my pleasure, “give me a topic and I’ll write a special blog for you.” So I opened my mouth. But the more I thought about it the more I thought how fun. I started in comedy as an improviser, studying in Chicago before I could even legally drink. And that’s the basis of improvisation, creating something out of nothing, or often, from audience suggestions. So here we go.

Here’s the suggestion from the audience: “Let me see…Hmmm…”people who irritate you!” (In a funny way, of course!) Like…I’m irritated by people who won’t let my morning coffee settle in, before they start demanding things…like decisions! Ha! (Hubby that was for you!!)” Or those people who obviously don’t know what leaving a message on my cell is all about…”Call me back!” is not a message!! What do you want?!?! E-mailing me with ‘Call me back” is not acceptable either! (You people know who you are!!) Ha!

Ok, Sage, we’ve got a suggestion of irritating people, take it away actors.

I myself can not really relate to this issue. You see, I get along with everyone at all times. Ok, maybe I should be more specific. I can get along with everyone at all times in my imagination. I start my day off with some light yoga and meditation. In this “space” there is only love. So I take that love and I step outside with it. And then the real people get in the way.

That’s the problem. Real people. Because real people think they’re so smart and think that their agenda is the one that should be followed. What they don’t realize is that I know everything and should be merely followed, observed and learned from. But noooo. Apparently my aura is not strong enough yet to permeate adults, but it is there because little children and pets have always gravitated to me. You know, the pure at heart.

But the adult population wants what they want and want it when they want it. So they interrupt my bliss the way Sage’s hubby interrupts her coffee. And let’s face it, there are only a few who are enlightened enough on this planet not to need coffee. That first cup in particular is sacred and should be revered.

Maybe it’s all the noise noise noise (sorry watched the Grinch last night) and we all need to take a few more breaths in the morning. Maybe if we start our days respectful of our own and other’s cups of coffees we’d start a pattern. The we’d take a breath before we left a message on voicemail and thought of the other end and not just our own mission. And then before we know it, everyone is thinking about everyone else and there’s no more girls flashing because they’d think of their parents, there’s no more silly news stories because media will realize someone gets hurt, and government will really think about the “people.”

Then again, maybe you should just go out for coffee.

 

Have a blog topic, I’m ready for the challenge? I’ll fit it in when I can.  Thanks again sage scenery for the idea.

Water Cooler Talk 12-18-13

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.

Are all the other seasons jealous of this one being the “’tis”?

Are you supposed to eat humble pie with a glass of the “milk of human kindness” that Scrooge got?

If people could channel the spirits of their dead relatives would they wish there was cable in the after-life so there were more choices?

If the tango is the dance of love then tweaking must be the dance of self-love.

I’ll bet bagels don’t consider donuts family.

This has go to be one of the days when the elves are threatening “never again.” Then they get the Holiday spirit and see it through, it’s their “wall.”

If graham crackers had not existed would  ‘smores have happened with Ritz?

Pizza really is like the testing ground for democracy, they just keep putting things together to see if they can get along.

 

 

 

 

No Smiles in 1st

There’s trouble on Flight 1192 and NO it’s not why you think. Everyone’s ok. They just aren’t smiling.

The people in First Class are the equivalent of those people that win the lottery and say nothing’s gonna change. Please. At the very least you have 400 new friends who always thought you were good looking.

But back to the question at hand. Oh wait I didn’t pose a question. Ok, what is the matter with the people of First Class? Not a grin, not a sly smile because they think they’re better than those of us waiting to stockpile it into coach. Not even an “ahh” as they stretch their legs.

That’s just wrong! You are obligated to gloat, or feel privileged, or at least enjoy the hell out of it! What’s the point of paying up to double the price for a couple of feet and not hoard it over everyone? I should be there! I should win the lottery! I would act like I deserve nay, have been selected to be superior, even if it’s just for 3 hours and 56 minutes. I want Roberto Begnini in First Class, jumping on the backs of the seats with his enthusiasm. Cause let’s face it, he’ll never win another Oscar.

People that buy First Class tickets should be screened the way people that use the self-checkout at the grocery store should be screened, you have to be qualified, you have to have the goods. We flew out of LAX for God’s sake and there are only pasty, overweight people there, not a celebrity wannabe in the bunch. And there’s a couple of really cute Dutch girls in the back.

Come on American let’s make these skies friendly again. Oh crap wait. There’s the problem! I flew the wrong airlines.

The Guilt of Blogging

Yesterday I hit “Publish” when I meant to hit “Preview.” That meant the entry for today was being sent out yesterday, a double. Now what to do. Leave today empty? Enter the Guilt of Blogging.

The Politics of Dancing, The Tao of Pooh and now The Guilt of Blogging. What to do? Does it matter? I don’t care what Megyn Kelly said about white and black Santas, I don’t care whether Beyonce’s new album is a hit or miss, does anyone care if nothing eeks out of this computer today? After all, I often stockpile a couple of blogs so it’s not really like I’m on a set schedule.

But here’s the thing. I’ve been crafting and building this blog. I have been developing it like I did my magic show. I had a flawless 45 minute show. I’m not saying that out of ego, it came from twenty years of doing it until there was not a wasted moment. Unless I chose to create one.

And I’ve been working at this the past year and a half with this blog. I’ve been crafting the kinds of entries in the hopes of giving you, the audience, the kinds of laughs they would want. So when I inadvertently published today’s yesterday, I feel as if I took away the quick laugh that my Bugs series can bring-the kind of thing one wants on a Monday.

So what to do? Create another quickie, would that satisfy you? Oh the responsibility. And no it’s not you, it’s me. You see, I look at this as a performer and now my timing’s off!  Does this mean the whole week is now off? Because now I’ve crafted a longer blog that I reserve for Tuesday and Thursday.

And I know what you’re thinking. You wrote two yesterday, shut up, give us a break.