What About the Bottom?

Puttin On The Glitz Dog Sweater


I’ve always chuckled a bit when I’ve seen dogs in sweaters, but the other day I was struck with the notion “what about the bottoms?”

Now I must clarify that when I say chuckle I mean that I laugh at dog owners who put the sweaters on. Quite often there’s something rather interesting and amusing about the owners themselves. You will rarely see a dirty tank-top, belly hanging over the shorts guy, walking a poodle with a  cardigan.

But let’s get back to the topic at hand. A great many of the dogs sporting sweaters are often of the poodle or similar canine variety, one that often has more shaving going on in the nether regions, so how about a little love for the pooch’s genitals? Nope, the bottoms are always flapping in the breeze.

And while we’re at it, why is it that the small dogs in Southern California aren’t wearing matching Ugg boots like their owners? If it’s cold enough that the girls that are wearing short skirts need them then so do their fluffer-whatter-lovee-doveee. Come on, ladies, don’t let PETA see you!

I remember when we were kids, my brother’s dog (a schnozzle) would go for his haircut and come back with bows in its ears. And we would go boy-listic on it and wail like crazy. But I think the dog knew we didn’t like it, because it was tearing the thing out before we could get to it.

So the fact remains, the dog doesn’t need it. But the dogs want attention and love. And they’ll wear the stupid sweater if it means getting kisses and hugs. Can’t say I blame ’em.