I Do…And Scene.

Recently there was another story about another wedding where this time the woman sang instead of everyone dancing and the video has 14 million views. I’m all for sentimentality, joy and emotion, but what happened to the days when women didn’t want to be proposed to on the Jumbotron?

Seems like when all my friends were getting married, I’d hear about how the women would absolutely die if their man asked them to marry them via an announcement at a basketball game, sky-writing, or any overt display of a romantic and important moment to be shared by just the two of them. But something changed in the last twenty years because of reality television, or American Idol, or just plain folks starved for attention, because it now seems like it can only be the most “special moment of your life” if it goes viral.

Now I’m not really complaining because I’m quite the ham myself, but I’m worried about the future. How far will we take this?

Will it creep into funeral homes where people will try to outdo each other by making the eulogy unique? Maybe a puppet show with the deceased—a little “Weekend at Bernie’s” dance number with Uncle Charlie’s arms and legs tied to two of the talented nephews?  How about Cousin Edgar who’s always wanted to be a ventriloquist and just needs his big break? And let’s not ignore the possibility of a juggling number with the pall bearers and coffin itself.

I’m surprised there hasn’t been videos of wanna-be stand up comics performing to their soon to be arriving babies (and the area they’re coming from.) How about all the relatives doing a song and dance number to “My Blue Heaven,” given the mother-to-be’s name fits the lyric “Molly and Me and The Baby Makes Three?”

And how about a chorus serenading a three-time married woman with the Car’s “Here She Comes Again” as she enters the divorce court?

I don’t mean to be gross or any in any way diminish these blessed events with black humor, just trying to stop the train in time. Let’s be careful and keep priorities in check. If not, before we know it your great aunt Ida is going to be twerking it at Seth’s bar mitzvah after the blessings. And no one wants to see that.