I’m Just Not Built for Social Media


WARNING: I may sound like an old man here. I’m not sure, but I thought I’d give you the opportunity to skip this blog and return tomorrow. But if you are in your 20s and 30s and agree, I’d also really love to hear from you. I’m putting this out late on a Saturday night so only the hard core followers might read it or the bloggers like me that have no social life.

Social media is such a necessary part of my work as a web designer and writer, yet it goes so against the grain of how I was raised and developed as a professional entertainer. It’s just this close (insert tiny space between thumb and forefinger held closely together) to feeling as fake as if I’d ever gotten a toupee.

Because—I go under the assumption that no one cares that much about me. I’m really happy that people read my blog, but that’s all I could want. I don’t expect them to care what restaurant I’m at, my thoughts, I meant tweets, on each and every incident in the world, or whether I’m experiencing an emoticon.

I was raised, and by raised I mean listened to overweight or over-lived men who were the mentors in a magic group I was in as a teenager. I mean raised in the professional sense. These guys had worked the bar and the nightclub scene in Chicago, so they knew late nights and how to have a killer act that would shut up drunks. And that’s no small feat. These guys lived by the motto “always leave them wanting more” which is entirely counter intuitive to the idea of social media whose motto is “exhaust the f*ck out of them with all your useless thoughts and behaviors.”

And then there’s how I was raised by my dad, and mom, really, not to complain. Not to air out dirty laundry in public. So I’m mystified by the notion that people feel better airing out things on Facebook and Twitter. I sort of get when celebrities do it, or I should say I just assume it’s to get attention. But how regular people can say things about their family, their friends, their job and think that’s ok, just—escapes me. Do they check to know that the people won’t see it? Are they too chicken to say anything in person? Should a breathalyzer be installed on everyone’s laptop, pad and mobile device?

I like the idea of Facebook. I joined when it first started and it seemed kind of cool to get in touch with people you hadn’t seen. And it’s worked out for me to get the word out about my shows and now my writing. Maybe I just need to let people be the way they are and not let it get to me. Let them use it the way they use it and I’ll use it the way I use it. Check in once a day or so and just skim. Get in the game but don’t be ruled by the game.

And maybe I should get that toupee.