Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.
Has any child actually exploded when someone said “baby fall down and go boom?”
No one ever talks about the moms after enduring a child “born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”
How come all the people that describe themselves as “down to Earth” aren’t just lying around?
I wonder if termites have a favorite wood like any good connoisseur?
Has any road construction ever been finished by the estimate date?
How in the world can an effeminate looking, chubby kid be trusted to pair up lovers? If Cupid really looks like that, he’ll take anything he can get.
It always comes in threes, where’s the last white old guy racist to make headlines?
Always remember, burps could have been farts if they hadn’t lost their way.
That all automatic transmission cars should have a section of shag carpet where you place your bare left foot. If people got to feel that they wouldn’t get so irritable and as easily enraged when they drive.
That there should be more round foods with holes in them because everyone seems happy and content when they’re eating a bagel or a doughnut.
That adults should bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch instead of going out for fast food because as kids that was all we needed to make us happy and give us energy for the rest of the day. Of course, recess before going back to work would also do wonders.
That moms need to teach their sons how kooky women are and dads need to teach their daughters how kooky men are instead of teaching us how to be what we already are; we need to understand how to relate to the other.
That all United States politicians have to repeat seventh grade history before entering a political race so they can become reacquainted with democracy and why it is honorable and important to hold office.
That all reality television stars should have to be de-briefed, de-compressed and de-loused before they go back in the real world so they can act like real people instead of who they were on television.
That all men and women are created equal and everyone just stop thinking any different.
“Nice to see you with such a big smile on your face.”
“Yeah I was just thinking I wish I could tell everyone that it doesn’t matter.”
“You mean all the worries and the cares?”
“Finances, business, the pursuit of the almighty dollar?”
“Nah, it doesn’t matter whether you have on clean underwear or not.”