The Second Time Around

I’m a big fan of Jesus Christ and I think most people agree that his teachings are all poignant and valuable to us as human beings and the guy got a really bad rap. Different religions have different views of his precise role and whether he was the true messiah, but having been raised Catholic and knowing the story of this weekend, I got to thinking about what would happen if the Second Coming of Christ occurred now.

First of all, where would he start? Two thousand years later, there’s a lot more people, there’s a lot more cities, there’s a lot more stuff. Would he want to go with the same kind of teachings or want to first right all the wrongs we’ve committed since we didn’t listen the first time?

And what about location? Jerusalem again? I don’t know, is that the best place to start? Many speakers know that you should start small, so it would seem really practical to warm up in a more welcoming environment before attacking that part of the World? I hear the Swiss are really nice.

But what if Jesus was on a get in—get out mission? I mean, you can’t blame the guy, he’s gotta be a little gun shy. Between what happened the first time around and the expectations that people would have it’s gotta make the best of the best nervous. So what if he skipped the whole preaching to individual groups and just used the full power of video and headed straight to the source—Hollywood. Maybe hit the major talk shows, maybe record an hour long special. If Scientology can get all kinds of volunteers I’m sure he could manage to attract some interns to create and manage the website and social media campaign to keep it going. And that way he wouldn’t be misquoted and he’d get the message out on a large scale.

So let’s talk wardrobe. The hair has got to be trimmed and something better than the robes or he’ll look like a homeless person and no one will stop to hear a peep. No matter what he said, they’d hear “can you spare some change?” or think it was another pro-marijuana legalization advocate. A nice suit and he looks like millions of other media personalities or infomercial hosts.  Who gets attention? I don’t remember any mention of his singing voice in the Bible so not sure if he could try to get notice that way, but he could always rap. Having firsthand knowledge, I know that this society is not going to be as awed by the types of miracles he performed the first time, so the whole magic thing is out.

My solution is he has a partner, and I mean a cat, puppy or baby. Does something incredibly cute and catches us when we temporarily drop the cynicism and stress of our daily lives and we’re at our purest. Catch us the way we’re supposed to be and maybe enough of us will listen.

That could be the coolest thing to go viral ever!

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