The End of War
Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.
I wish I had kept it because I think the house I built out of Popsicle sticks when I was a kid is bigger than my present apartment.
I wonder how many mummies started out as hammocks gone awry?
I’ll bet pepperoni pizza thinks it’s soooo much sexier than sausage.
I wonder if Santa Claus ever wishes he could trade holidays one year and get candy instead of cookies?
I’m thinking of getting a t-shirt that says “I’m with Stupid” and just points down.
I remember once wishing the in-flight magazines had profiles of the flight attendants, specifically their turn-ons, so I could flirt. Now I just want to know what will make them less stressed so I can help them out.
If an IZOD shirt and a Ralph Lauren polo are washed together does the alligator try to bite the horse?
Oscar winning films should have more bald guys, just seems right.
If Cheetos are cheese that goes crunch, why don’t they put them on nachos to insure they don’t get mushy?
Yoga means union, of the body and the mind, yet every time I see a gorgeous female yoga body, I lose my mind. I must meditate on that.
Why does chicken that’s fried get cute names like “nuggets” and”fingers” and all poor fish gets is “sticks?”
“Hey Bernie, what you doing sitting by yourself?”
“Ah, just thinking about my life and if I accomplished everything I wanted.”
“Hmm. And, do you think you did?”
“Well, I had a good job and gave people what they wanted.”
“Yeah and I raised two kids that turned out to be good people.”
“I didn’t do anything crazy, like get to sleep with some fabulous Hollywood actress. You know, without my wife finding out or hurting her.”
“Well Bernie, you got every famous actress here.”
“Yeah, but even though my wife isn’t here yet, somehow, someway, she’ll know.”