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Water Cooler Talk 8-20-14

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.

I wonder if hair gets mad when you put your glasses back on your face because then it can’t see?

I wonder if bow ties resent regular ties because of their ability to “hang loose?”

The life of a peanut must really stink—you’re in a dark place for so long, barely see the light, and then you’re dead.

I wonder if books prefer standing up or lying down, which feels better on their spine?

I wonder if pasta wishes it could dip an end into the boiling water first like we dip a toe into a cold pool?

Does the Twitter bird ever poop on one of the other social media icons on a website?

Big full potato chips are probably real jerks to the crumbs, laughing at them when they get eaten first.

Probably the only people that are not sad that summer is ending are the candy manufacturers.

Poor Pluto, just like anything these days it was big news and now nobody’s talking about it anymore.

I wonder if smart phones are smart enough to think to themselves that they’d like a day off?

 

 

Happy Birthday Mom

My mom is a big fan of my Weekly Water Cooler Talk on Wednesdays, so this is her very own special edition. Hopefully others can relate. 🙂

cake

 

Pasta and bread is to Italians what breath is to everyone else.

A woman’s need for too many shoes is, well, irrational to men. But to a woman it is 100% rational and necessary. So deal!
Marshmallow peeps are a food group and not to just be eaten on holidays.
Gone with the Wind is not the greatest movie of all time, it’s Young Frankenstein.
The proportion of butter to bread is “shut up about cholesterol, it tastes good!”
Potato chips and dip are an acceptable meal, provided you have the kettle chips because they’re classier and it’s like a gourmet meal.
Short people are closer to the ground and therefore more in touch with the Earth, nature and spirituality. Take that you six-footer!
Family is the most important thing, although the money to shower said family with Christmas gifts and decorate the house to entertain said family runs a close second.
It is imperative that the home be decorated for Halloween and Christmas in all it’s splendor. As to Thanksgiving and Easter—eh, what can you do with a turkey, eggs and bunnies?

A Conversation Between Angels XCVIII

“So Sal, you’ve been here for a while, what do you do?”

“Do?  We don’t have to do anything, we just have to be.”

“Yeah, yeah, but what do you do for fun, recreation?”

“Well we just be with each other, enjoy each other’s company, feel the love.”

“Yeah, yeah, so what else?”

“Well there’s lots of singing, music, joy.”

“Ok, so what else?”

“You’re not understanding Mike, it’s a whole different existence.”

“Ok. So really—no TV?”

Water Cooler Talk 8-13-14

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.

We call most insects “pests.” I wonder what they call us.

“Find a penny pick it up,”….what the hell am I gonna do with a penny?

I’m surprised there’s not a dog obesity problem with all the homework they eat.

I’ll bet fish are giggling inside their aquariums thinking “we’re just doing what we do.”

There are so many “chains of command” with broken links.

I’ll bet ducks resent being put in a row, I think they’re not quite so linear.

I’d love to write a memoir, but I already know the ending so it’s boring for me as a writer.

I wonder how many Disney princesses want to be bad?

I’ll bet Captain Crunch was just a private who got promoted big time when he came up with that delicious sugary concoction.
Moms always warn you “your face will freeze that way” but I wonder if anyone has ever gotten their tongue stuck in their cheek from always being that way?