The New Identities Part II

Two weeks ago I wrote a Post, The New Identities, describing the different types of people I’ve encountered walking or commuting. I realized after publication, that I left out a few….

The Brick Wall

You will find these individuals most likely at the grocery store or Walmart. They are able to create a brick wall by the perfect positioning of their bodies and shopping carts that make it impossible to pass. They move very slowly, they unfortunately possess no peripheral vision to recognize there is anyone else near them, and they don’t understand the phrase “excuse me” until the third and loud utterance that makes you look like the jerk.

The Looper

The Looper is encountered on very wide sidewalks and refuses to conform to any set path, the basic point a to point b stuff we all learned in math. Unlike The Brick Wall, this individual seems to have eyes in the back of their head that allow them to maneuver any way you might pass and they weave and bob along paths that only a spirograph or etch-a-sketch can make. They are often accompanied by a cell phone.

The Lovey Dovies

True to its name, this particular specimen is a pair of partners that can not let go of each other’s hands to allow for one to move behind the other and therefore you can have room to occupy the same pavement as you cross each other’s paths. Of particular interest is that this is not restricted to boys and girls in junior high, it seems adults of any age can still possess the required insecurity.

And if these weren’t bad enough there’s…

The Seniors

This is a group of at least four people who walk as if they’re trying to dominate the halls of high school. They seem to be stuck in that “grid,” if you will, because whether they are co-workers going to lunch, associates attending a conference, or couples strolling after dinner, they want the “freshman” to be intimidated and have to stop and let them pass or walk out of their way to exchange time and space. They never grow up.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “The New Identities Part II

  1. You must read my mind😳

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. Yup, now you’re thinking like me in my world!!! I say, “Scusi!” real loud!!

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