The Claws Are Coming Out

I spent most of my life in a cold climate, but after the last few years living in Souther California I have become aware of a strange phenomenon..the inability of older males to cut their toenails.

I admit that I may have a slight obsession. Not with looking at the gnarly, curled, disgustingly unkempt digits that they so unabashedly display, but with my own need to keep mine intact. I performed sleight-of-hand for 40 years, so although I do not presently engage in the magical arts, I am still hyper-aware of the length of my fingernails and it became a regular procedure to check the toes.

So it could be that these men just don’t look? I mean, you can slip on a pair of flip flops without looking down, so perhaps it’s just been a month or so since they actually sat and slipped on a sock or shoe therefore putting the foot in their vision.

Or maybe it’s a sign of virility? I understand that certain cultures view male “scent” as a sign of masculinity but I always just figured they wanted to pretend they were still in college and it was cool to be dirty and smelly.

There are two things that really escape my understanding. One, don’t they just break off causing pain and discomfort? Because I’m not talking about a matter of they should have clipped a few days ago, these guys are in the talon stage. Some I’ve seen look as if the nail, especially of the big toe, is curled over the front of the flip flop and is probably scraping the pavement.

Second, and even more baffling, is that these men seem to be married. Don’t their wives have anything to say? Have both parties just given up and never want their legs to come together again. because it sure seems like sex would cause injury?

All I can say is, Dudes, it is disgusting. Nobody likes it.

But then again, why am I looking?