The New Identities Part IV

This edition of the New Identities deals with the types of people one encounters in the grocery store or Wal-Mart. Not that it’s specific to Wal-Mart, or anything against the chain, it’s just close to my house. I don’t want to make fun of the company, although would it kill you to make sure the towels are refilled in the restroom particularly when the air dryer is broken?

The Post

The Post is a large male, very macho, who stands in the middle of the aisle like one of those posts that are put up, or rise out of the pavement, to prohibit traffic flow. He is dead center in the aisle, looking at something, and fully aware that it is inconvenient for anyone to get by. I believe he delights in this and knows full well that you’re in his peripheral sight and his stance and position is intentional. His penis is presumably small.

The Train

The Train is more than one person who are connected by their shopping cart. Usually a family with children or an older aunt or grandmother, they seem to be holding on to the cart as if they win it if they don’t let go. No one seems to be in charge of steering so it’s anyone’s guess where they’re going and it is difficult to choose your alternate route. Like that game “whip” many played as kids, you never know when a quick turn will send grandma flying into the soda section like a blowing ball headed for the pins.

The Pretender

This personality believes that he is a together person who can handle all types of people and nothing rattles his cool, he is a true enlightened master of yoga an zen. But then he is absolutely rattled by the first inconvenience of having to maneuver around any of the “characters” or having to wait in line for a few minutes while someone digs to the bottom of their purse. The Pretender is me and I need to put blame on my lack of patience in dealing with some of these individuals. Not cool if I can’t take a joke like I can give one.

The Impatient One

This is the individual who is unwrapping their cigarette pack or candy bar when they are barely out the door and can’t hold onto the trash long enough to get it into the garbage cans that are placed right outside. They let their little debris flutter in the wind while their nicotine or junk food craving is appeased.

Ah, a little more tolerance, a little more respect, a little more awareness, and going to the store could be so much fun.

 

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