A Conversation Between Angels CXIII

“Ahhhh.”

“Wow, Phil, that was some sigh.”

“Yeah, just having a memory of the holidays, pushing back from the chair and unbuckling the belt. These robes would have been terrific.”

“Indeed.”

“And then taking a nap afterwards.”

“You can have all you want to eat and nap anytime you want now?”

“Yeah not the same.”

“Why?”

“Because falling asleep doesn’t mean you miss the dishes.”

 

 

Two Cans of Foot Spray

I’ve just discovered that under my bathroom sink there are two cans of athlete’s foot spray and two bottles of toilet cleanser. Both nearly full.

Now why did I feel the need to buy two, or how did I forget that there was the other one in there when I made the purchase at the store? In reference to the foot spray, I know that I have had brief periods where I think that my feet might be stinking a bit more and I snap into defense mode. I don’t want the next women I sleep with probably six months or so from now to have to endure anything. So I suppose that I could forgive myself because I’ve only faced the tootsie trouble once or twice in my lifetime and so I didn’t check to see if I had any.

But the toilet thing bothers me. I think what most bothers me is that it is again something that happens very infrequently. For some reason, every now and again my toilet gets more stained. And I’ve been unable to come up with an explanation. Mostly because what’s coming out of me hasn’t changed. I know, I inspect it. I mean one you see, as a man, as it’s coming out. And one you get a glimpse at what’s left on the paper.

So why is is that every couple of months or so there seems to be more noticeable stains? Is the toilet itself rebelling at the working conditions, acting out like some teenage graffiti artist? Is this old building boiling up from it’s depths and getting ready for a major purge the likes of Ghostbusters? Is something sneaking out between the first poop and the stuff that remains on my butt? Because I don’t usually turn around to look, don’t like the sight of even my own.

I think I’ll be a little more careful and for now, spray my feet just to be safe because I’m going to have enough money by Spring to ask someone on a date and is there really such thing as a “too-clean” toilet?

Water Cooler Talk 11-26-14

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace. 

I wonder if people should bury the turkey’s bones so their loved ones have a place to visit and grieve?

I’ll bet chickens are thankful that they are smaller and have a talent this time of year.

I think changing the name from Black Friday could go a long way to stopping any chaos.

I wonder what the Park Place and Boardwalk properties I bought in the 70s are worth in today’s economy?

If you drink two 5 Hour Energy drinks, it the amount doubled or squared?

There is very little difference in the words winner and wiener, and having seen the recipients of recent television awards shows, I see why.

The first Thanksgiving meal didn’t include mashed potatoes or bread stuffing, so since that’s the only thing I like I would have been screwed.

I still owe the high school football coach a push-up, I cheated on that one ’20’ I was supposed to give him.

 

 

A Conversation Between Angels CXII

“You know Stu, I miss the smell of peanut shells on the floor.”

“Not to mention the crunch.”

“No I’m serious, I miss smells. Pizza, burgers.”

“I hear ya.”

“And this week means another Thanksgiving where I don’t get the smell of turkey, mashed potatoes…I miss the smells.”

“We’ve been friends since we were six years old, and you know what, if I could fart right now so you’d have something to smell I would.”