Remote CONTROL

remote

I was visiting my parents recently and my mom would switch the volume off when a commercial would come on because they kept running the same campaign ads. And it got me thinking—what if the remote didn’t just control the television but the content on the television?

How great would it be if you could point and click and the candidate would tell you what they’re really going to do when elected? How about all those advertisements for medication, what if you controlled the truth about whether they’re really going to work or if you’re just going to get a side effect and which one of the dozens? And how about if you could just quiet down the people who are talking who know they’re full of sh*t?

Imagine how much greater a sports fan’s life would be if he could press a button and he would be the coach instead of just yelling his thoughts at the TV?  What would it be like to actually whisper in to the ear of the bachelor or bachelorette and tell them which one is a douchebag that they’re not seeing? And what if a button named “rotate” made you the winner of the lottery instead of the person that claims they’re just going to pay their bills? You’d have way more fun with the money.

Most kids think that there’s real little people in the television when they first see it, or at least us naiver generations did, and now we’d be able to be one of those people. We’d get a joke in, we’d decide if we wanted to hear better news, we’d make sure the Cubs finally won a pennant.

Life would be so much better—until you forgot where you put the remote.

 

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