Two Cans of Foot Spray

I’ve just discovered that under my bathroom sink there are two cans of athlete’s foot spray and two bottles of toilet cleanser. Both nearly full.

Now why did I feel the need to buy two, or how did I forget that there was the other one in there when I made the purchase at the store? In reference to the foot spray, I know that I have had brief periods where I think that my feet might be stinking a bit more and I snap into defense mode. I don’t want the next women I sleep with probably six months or so from now to have to endure anything. So I suppose that I could forgive myself because I’ve only faced the tootsie trouble once or twice in my lifetime and so I didn’t check to see if I had any.

But the toilet thing bothers me. I think what most bothers me is that it is again something that happens very infrequently. For some reason, every now and again my toilet gets more stained. And I’ve been unable to come up with an explanation. Mostly because what’s coming out of me hasn’t changed. I know, I inspect it. I mean one you see, as a man, as it’s coming out. And one you get a glimpse at what’s left on the paper.

So why is is that every couple of months or so there seems to be more noticeable stains? Is the toilet itself rebelling at the working conditions, acting out like some teenage graffiti artist? Is this old building boiling up from it’s depths and getting ready for a major purge the likes of Ghostbusters? Is something sneaking out between the first poop and the stuff that remains on my butt? Because I don’t usually turn around to look, don’t like the sight of even my own.

I think I’ll be a little more careful and for now, spray my feet just to be safe because I’m going to have enough money by Spring to ask someone on a date and is there really such thing as a “too-clean” toilet?

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