Which Are They?


I saw a story on Huffington Post that featured a Twitter fight between celebrities. I haven’t been able to find the story in my browser history to reproduce it here, but what struck me about it was all of the hashtags, retweets and abbreviations that proliferated this conversation really made humans look ridiculous. If observed by aliens. And if so, and they’ve been waiting, this might be the time where they blast us to oblivion because we just need to be “gotten rid of.”

I would imagine they would be monitoring our electronic signals from afar and so stuff like tweets and posts and OMG this blog! is what they’d see. They’d see that there’s not intelligent life here and they’d just put us out of our misery like a poor animal on its last leg. They probably couldn’t register any value in cute cat videos. They’d see that we can’t talk to each other in complete sentences, don’t want to talk to each other in person, yet don’t want to let each other be if we don’t agree. We have no respect for each other, so why should some alien show us any respect when this planet could be saved, cleaned, and used as a resort destination. There’s lots of water if someone just cleaned the pool.

But then I started to think, that’s with the assumption that the aliens are smarter.

Every science fiction movie makes aliens out to have superior intelligence, but do they? What if the aliens think we’re the cool kids. If they’re the little off-green shriveled creatures Spielberg made them out to be, they must be just biding they’re time until they can do something that makes Kim Kardashian smile. They’re the geeks just waiting and learning so they can say the right thing to impress the hot chick!

Hmm. Which way could it go? Personally I still think we can clean up the language, think a little bit more about what we’re saying and doing, and throw out the garbage. But what do I know I’m just trying to write  funny stuff because women like a sense of humor. I’m after the hot chick too.




Water Cooler Talk 6-25-14

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.

It seems like a Hero sandwich should contain less calories.

I wonder if the bird that went “cuckoo for cocoa puffs” ever got therapy or medication?

I’ll bet cacti have gentle souls.

I think it would be great, even if only for a day, if when someone took to Twitter the only thing that came out, for anyone, would be the real tweeting sound of a bird.

I wonder if aliens haven’t landed yet because they really were ‘little green men’ and they’re waiting for evolution to change that, since the surprise is ruined.

Late last night I read with a flashlight under my blanket, but without someone telling me to go to bed it was just really sad.

I’m so old I thought the World Cup was some kind of decorative holder for the globe.

The creators of the movie Frozen must be really glad they didn’t listen to the studios that wanted a beach theme.

Jesus must be mad like every kid whose birthday is Christmas.

I bet octopi hate that other animals think they should be more productive.