No Smiles in 1st

There’s trouble on Flight 1192 and NO it’s not why you think. Everyone’s ok. They just aren’t smiling.

The people in First Class are the equivalent of those people that win the lottery and say nothing’s gonna change. Please. At the very least you have 400 new friends who always thought you were good looking.

But back to the question at hand. Oh wait I didn’t pose a question. Ok, what is the matter with the people of First Class? Not a grin, not a sly smile because they think they’re better than those of us waiting to stockpile it into coach. Not even an “ahh” as they stretch their legs.

That’s just wrong! You are obligated to gloat, or feel privileged, or at least enjoy the hell out of it! What’s the point of paying up to double the price for a couple of feet and not hoard it over everyone? I should be there! I should win the lottery! I would act like I deserve nay, have been selected to be superior, even if it’s just for 3 hours and 56 minutes. I want Roberto Begnini in First Class, jumping on the backs of the seats with his enthusiasm. Cause let’s face it, he’ll never win another Oscar.

People that buy First Class tickets should be screened the way people that use the self-checkout at the grocery store should be screened, you have to be qualified, you have to have the goods. We flew out of LAX for God’s sake and there are only pasty, overweight people there, not a celebrity wannabe in the bunch. And there’s a couple of really cute Dutch girls in the back.

Come on American let’s make these skies friendly again. Oh crap wait. There’s the problem! I flew the wrong airlines.