Global Warming?



It must really be tough to be a kid today, especially one that lives in the Midwest. I thought understanding the three branches of government was difficult, but imagine being taught about the dangers of global warming when it was 17 degrees below zero when you woke up?

How a young mind must be confused being told that the polar ice caps are melting when your boogers are frozen. How you hear that the sea levels are rising and you won’t be in a swimming pool for a long time. How hard it must be to fathom that the oxygen level is depleting when you can see your breath for a mile and a half!

I picture my grandmother if I was a teenager now. And I mean the kind of a teenager who learns just enough to be very passionate, mostly obnoxious, about a subject like global warming, and how she’d have a field day when it was so cold like it is right now. “HA!” she’d say about how I told her that her hair spray that kept that beehive Bride of Frankenstein-shaped hairdo nested on top of her head was the culprit of global warming. “HA!” she would say that I accused her of contributing to the damaging gases floating into our ozone because her Galaxie 500 car muffler was held together by duct tape. “HA!” she would say even though I hadn’t said anything more but she was always drinking Dewar’s and drunks aren’t really paying attention to the conversation as much as needing to make a point.

No the older generation would have had a field day with this kind of day mumbling Al Gore should have never won an Oscar, science is stupid and how they walked ten miles in the snow to school. And the poor, confused kid would just say “I want to walk to school Grandpa but the schools are closed.”