The Beginning of Time Part Two


On Tuesday I wrote The Beginning of Time Part One from a scientific viewpoint, today I write from a religious perspective on what one might think based on that education. You see, I remember having questions when we went to religious studies as a child, but unfortunately at that age they were trumped by “when do we get out of here?” So I thought I’d raise them now.

Ok, so according to what I learned, God made man in his image so let’s start there. First, off all the images of God I’d seen were a man with long white hair and a white beard. And all the images of Adam were much younger so was God creating man in the image of his former, svelter self? And if God is immortal why couldn’t he have just stayed like that? I’ve been living near Los Angeles for a few years now and all the celebrities know that people don’t pay as much attention to them as they get older, so why would the All-Knowing want to lose popularity among the key demographics?

Anywho, the blog was intended to be about what it would have been like to be alive at the beginning of time, the first one. And that would be Adam. Eve was to follow made from Adam’s rib and it seems like that just spells trouble for a couple  right off the bat. That had to hurt and it seems that it just sets up the relationship with a whole lot of resentment. Now there are two different versions, one where Adam and Eve were created simultaneously and one where she was second, and I tend to believe the latter. If God truly created man, I think he would have wanted to give his creation “some alone time.” Now I don’t want to suggest that he did anything inappropriate, but it would explain why Adam went for the apple and sin so easily.

But let’s step back for a second. In one description in the bible, God mad man out of dust and then blew breath into his nostrils. Whoa! If you want to blame drug addiction on genetics I think it goes back to that because I can not imagine beating that rush. Suddenly you are alive and you are looking for more of that life stuff. So Adam goes traipsing around and it’s pretty and all, but these other creatures got four legs, two legs, eight legs, no legs, and he’s just not feeling it. In this same story Adam is tasked with naming all the animals and well, that’s got to get old real fast, so then God creates woman. Ok, so he gets past the hurt like we already described but then hello Eve! Now there was no internet or dirty magazines at the time but I would believe that he knew what to do with what where and hello! life is ringing again.

Now I’m a man of inspiration, hopes and dreams, but I’m also a man. And if Eve looked so fine I think it’d be alright to just fool around, lay around and cuddle and then if she’d make me a sandwich, I’d be set. So what happened? Why didn’t it just stop there if everyone knows deep down inside it’s just all about love?


The Beginning of Time Part One*


What would it be like to have lived at the beginning of time? With nothing to compare it to, how would you live your life?

Now first of all, you have to ask what you believe? Do you believe in the scientific explanation or do you skew towards the religious? Oh what the heck, it’s my blog so let’s take a look at both.

If you believe in science the universe is 13.8 billion years old, give or take 6-10 seconds after the big bang. It wasn’t like turning on a light bulb. Although it is believed that single cells began on Earth about 3.6 billion years ago, human beings, as we know them, emerged about 200, 000 years ago. So let’s start there because those other life forms didn’t really think about stuff. You think the Dinosaurs journaled? No.

So you’re the first human being that evolved from a primate. Don’t know how you figured it out but let’s suppose that something just snapped, no maybe revved up, in your brain and suddenly the things you did an hour ago just weren’t right—no more masturbating in public and throwing your feces. Nope, you were going to save that for the privacy of your cave. It’s dark, no one will see you.

Aright. So you stand up straight and man does that feel good on your back. Like any high school graduate, you don’t know if you want to hang out with your old friends, you just don’t have anything in common with them anymore. What’d you do? Logical choice is to move, wander, find out if you’re the only one.

What must that have been like? No one to tell you how you should behave, no one to tell you what to think, no one to tell you that it’s pronounced ketchup and not catsup? All you have before you is potential. Yes, your hair’s falling out, all over, but hey it will make you look individual—the way you feel. Instead of merely foraging for food and defending yourself, you stop and smell the roses. Well at least you think they’re roses—in fact, yes, you just named them roses. Wow that R feels good in my mouth instead of just screeching and ugghing. This is gonna be great!  Freedom. Exploration. Discovery.

Wait, why are all the other beasts chasing me? Didn’t they like the name roses?  Oh crap.


*Part Two Thursday, March 13, 2014