And Then She Said…


Scientists studying the brain and evolution at Occidental College have made some interesting discoveries about cell phones, now that they’ve amassed data over twenty years. It seems that our brains are packed with too much information and interaction need and cell phones have allowed us to evolve and let those synapses fire more easily.

In the 20th Century we had to wait until we got home or to the office to have all the important conversations that we now can do instantly with a cell phone. They say that life expectancy will probably begin to rise in a higher exponential factor not that our brains are not “clogged” with the facts that are reported on an hourly basis.

So go ahead and talk endlessly while walking down the street and driving your car. Your not paying attention to anyone else is actually beneficial to you. And the next time someone sighs while you’re talking on the phone in the grocery store, tell the caller to hold and tell the person how you are only doing what evolution wants.

It is the dawn of a new age. So gossip, talk for hours about nothing, swear for everyone to hear! Viva La Difference!

Scenes From A Train

I sit on the Blue Line riding towards downtown. In front of me a woman that smells nice is texting on a fake jewel covered phone. Does she think that looks fancy cause I just think it looks gaudy? She’s not a teenager, that I understand and she’s dressed rather lovely. She’s a light skinned Hispanic woman and she’s reading a copy of Ebony magazine. Is her boyfriend African-American or does she just think
Black people are cooler like I do?

The woman beside me is frantically playing solitaire on her phone. Who wakes up and has to play solitaire? I wonder about her gambling problem. She looks very nice, she’s older: gray hair and no wedding ring. I bet she has cats. Lots of them. They sit on her shoulder and her lap while she plays solitaire with real cards. That’s why she plays solitaire on the train! She misses her cats and this quells her depression.

18 out of 30 people on the train are wearing sunglasses. How many are hiding hangovers vs. how many are just tired and want to go back to sleep? The dude with the chin on his chest; will he wake up in time for his stop?

A woman five seats behind me is talking with a gravely voice on her cel phone. Can she not hear very well and not know she’s talking that loud or does she want everyone to know about how her daughter never calls?

Half the people in my immediate perimeter are on cell phones. Are they blogging about me? Yeah well that sweater is not a good color on you lady and seriously dude, a shower would have been thoughtful. Oh crap the woman in the sweater just moved to the seat formerly occupied by unshaven man. She smiled. She wasn’t giving me a dirty look, the sun was in her eyes. I’m sorry about the sweater thing but really you have a nice smile so maybe a brighter green? Oh oh, we just stopped at Slauson station and a mean looking woman just sat down next to her. She’s wearing a Hello Kitty or some Japanese character t-shirt and she’s got to be late 30s, early 40s. Maybe she’s just a smoker. Only the last two fingers of her left hand have nail polish on them. Black. Is that a gang thing? I’m worried about pukey green sweater girl.

What? I have to exit the train? Why???? I’ve been saying this out loud?