Water Cooler Talk 10-1-14

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace. 

Yay, George Clooney is married. That means a whole lot of women need to settle.

I had a tangerine dream but it was about bananas. What?

With all the interest in poker tournaments in recent years. I wonder why they never started televising solitaire?

I’m surprised escalators aren’t broken down more often considering the amount of foot odor they have to withstand.

Seems to me the iPhone 6 bending is a good thing, a smart phone should be flexible and adaptive.

If 50 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 30, and so on, are pre-schoolers the new embryo?

If they moved the nation’s capital to California I wonder if the weather would make Congress more relaxed and cooperative?

I’ll bet every night when the sun sets and the moon appears, the Man in the Moon goes “boo,” we just can’t hear it.
When I was a kid, you yelled “do-over” and instantly rewound. As an adult, it’s been ten years and still the same.

I’ll bet inch worms were hoping for the Universal conversion to metric because then they’d be taller.

 

 

 

 

 

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Cellular Ban Under Consideration!

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The Big Three telephone cellular networks are in talks to impose considerable bans on the use of cellular phones out of the home. In effect, these bans would immediately disconnect the user when engaging in usage that is deemed “unnecessary, intrusive and ridiculous.”

Under this voluntary agreement, the networks would enforce these new guidelines based on their belief that current customers are straining too far from the original developer’s intentions. Under the proposed ban, the customer would be immediately disconnected when they:

  • walked right in front of someone while talking and couldn’t take a moment to say “excuse me.”
  • used profanity repeatedly before 9:00 in the morning while relating last night’s incidents to the person that couldn’t make it.
  • stopped right in the middle of the street, blocking other people’s movement, to say “i did not. what? what are you trying to say?” or other things that could wait until they got home.
  • exceeded the normal decibel level of speech if the person was right next to them.
  • played music through the speaker instead of the earphones in direct conflict with the Boombox Repeal Act of 1996.
  • did not pay attention to their children.

If deemed unanimous amongst the companies, these regulations would be brought up before Congress, which they concede is an uphill battle. Unless they turned off their phones so they’d listen.