Start Your Engines



This weekend, here in Long Beach, California, is the annual Toyota Grand Prix. What that means to me is…absolutely nothing.

Well I take that back. The line in 7-11 is sooo long. I guess that’s just about it. I like to watch the cars practice on Thursday walking ¬†over Shoreline Drive the same way I’d ride my bike and watch the planes practice for the air show in Chicago. I don’t think that I’d really go to the race. It seems fairly boring to just sit there and watch. Besides I don’t drink anymore, so I couldn’t have one of their large beers.



The locals here don’t really like it and many leave town. It’s really hard to park ¬†here normally so an event like this makes people insane. They also start setting things up in February so it robs us of beach space to throw frisbees and the children-the poor children-have less spots to get high. But for me, I walk to the beach and instead of turning right and running around the marina where the event is located, I turn left and there’s miles to run or walk. I also don’t mind crowds unlike many. Plus it’s 80 this weekend, I don’t have a car, so who’s to complain. Since I design websites and write, the only “trouble” is when I get tired of hearing the car noise, which really just sounds like bugs flying and is oddly soothing, I put on The Bangles.

Maybe it’s soothing because I was way into racing when I was a kid. I held Membership Number 350,267 in the Dan Gurney Racing Sticker Club. Each month you received a couple of stickers-the very kind that adorn race cars. You would place them in their proper position (get it) in this scrapbooky kind of thing. Then you could look at it. Not much but I thought it was kind of cool. Felt like I was part of something. And that’s probably what it’s all about for race fans. As I’ve walked the past two days and seen the people going toward the entrances, there’s a lot of similarities: lots of bellies, lots of colorful shirts emblazoned with emblems and mostly guys. The only hot girls I saw were giving away samples and they’re probably all over the grounds.

But to each his own, everybody wants to belong to something so I say go for it. Nobody’s gotten in my way while I was walking and even thought every store for two square miles announces “welcome race fans,” no one’s been at the grocery store. Maybe later when they need libations for their hotel rooms.

So I figured I should write about such a big event but I couldn’t find the funny and this is “A comedic perspective.” And then I saw this sign in a store window.



Today is also Earth Day. And that irony cracks me up to no end. I’m very environmentally conscious but the fact that Long Beach is celebrating Earth Day while their biggest cash cow and major event of the year is emitting tons of noxious gases into the air is just testament to the irony of this place, this country and this world. And is really funny.

Enjoy your Saturday, didn’t mean to rub it in about the weather if it’s still cold where you live.