Stop Bullying Around

When I was a kid I was a prime target for bullies-

thick glasses, chubby, smart (read: nerd.) I had it all.

As an adult performing for school assemblies bullying has become a major buzzword and my experience with cognitive behavioral therapy allowed me to create a program where techniques could be used in dealing with bullies. But it doesn’t stop after you graduate school. Looking around at our current society bullies are everywhere, and you can’t really survive it the way we were taught as kids-either walk away or learn how to fight.

I was never taught to fight and being funny, I never got into too many damaging emotional situations that would still have me in therapy.

I just had your average shoved into a locker, books dumped, a little pushing a little shoving. Never hung from my underwear, embarrassed in front of the whole school kinds of things. But I had enough to recognize a bully and I see them everywhere.

When did everyone turn into such bullies? You see nearly all of the government officials mouthing off about their competition and how they did this and that and it wasn’t right, usually talking loud, fast and quite often interrupting another speaking. Rarely do they listen calmly and then offer an alternative with a cool, clear head.

What about the media? In the need to fill time on all the available television channels, online news outlets and print all the headlines are huge, the videos featuring foul, lazy language and again the same lack of respect for another opinion or alternative position.

And what about the world leaders? Jeez you read about something new every day, someone doing something horrible. It’s just a large-scale equivalent of shoving a nerd in a locker. If you then blew up the locker and blamed in on God.

Does everybody need a cookie?

Why’s everybody so angry? No one seems to want to sit down and work things out. Maybe we should legalize pot and everyone would just mellow out and “it’ll all work out.” Having seen the demand for presentations about bullying in our schools, maybe we just need to create programs for our adults, cause kids raised by a bully really don’t stand a chance. Grow up people, if not for yourself and your stress level and your heart attacks that will reverse our life expectancies, do it for your kids. They got enough to worry about with pimples and puberty, give them a break so they can concentrate on studying and fix this world. We don’t seem to be able to do it. Too many bullies.

The Leaders Converse

Normally on Wednesdays I write about the water cooler talk that I have with myself as I am self-employed. But I thought today I would write what our great fore-fathers would talk about if popped into the 21st century.

“Nu-uh, oh no. This is not what I thought it would be like. I’m going back to England.”

“Self-evident. Duh. It’s self-explanatory. How can everyone miss it?”

“Ok imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but we weren’t supposed to do everything we didn’t like in the British.”

“Seriously, you think that’s an improvement over the powdered wig?”

“You’re teasing…she can’t even cook and now you’re saying she can vote?”

“13 was a good number. And “colonies” is much more friendly than ‘states’.”

“Wait, what? In the White House? He’s doing the same job I did?”

“What? They’re free? Oh crap.”

Water Cooler Talk I

Being self-employed I don’t enjoy the chit-chat that happens at the water cooler. So as I refill my glass from the Brita, I put my random  thoughts out to you.
My seventh grade social studies teacher, while instructing us in the ways of the branches of government, told us that government was “by the people, for the people.” Oops.
Why do the people walking with other people, who are wearing ear or headphones, stand for it?
I just passed a Chinese food take-out that was open at 7:00am. You’re gonna be hungry in an hour, then how are you going to do your job? A donut would have lasted a lot longer.
If Sponge Bob Square Pants lives in the ocean he would absorb it all, so how come he doesn’t look like he took a dump in his shorts?
NOTE TO DRIVERS: That big, thick white line that comes before the stop sign is where you stop first, not pull over it ready to gun the engine like NASCAR.
If the Internet is wireless, why do we have to have things plugged in?
Note to cell phone manufacturers: you need to make them big again because people can’t be heard with the mouthpiece so far away now. Poor folks have to yell when they’re on the bus or in the grocery store.
So I just saw a video on CNN where the bride sang as she walked down the aisle and there was that cool one with the dance sequence. When is someone going to shove their hand up their groom’s behind and do a ventriloquism act?
The child obesity level is very high now and I’m hoping doctors have changed. Mine said my weight was fine as a pre-teen and that I would grow out of it, which led me to a life as a chubby teen with no girlfriends. But that guy was pushing 300 lbs. and smoked in the exam room. Let’s hope that only happens on Mad Men now.
I think bills should take a month or two off, then we’d appreciate them more.