New Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes*

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Bat Who?

Bat-cha thought this was gonna be scary.


Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Boo Who?

Boo-tiful day ain’t it?


Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Werewolf Who?



Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Trick or Treat.

Trick or Treat Who?

No, give me some candy!


*I said new ones, I didn’t say they’d be funny.




A Conversation Between Angels CVIII

“Hello and welcome to the Newcomer’s Group. We realize that this is your first experience with the Holiday season and with Halloween just around the corner we wanted to address any of your questions.”

“Will we be wearing costumes?”

“No, I’m sorry, there is our basic dress code all the time.”

“How about candy?”

“No, we have to adhere to our healthy diet here.”

“So how are we supposed to have any fun, what about being scared?”

“Well we can send you to that other place but I’m afraid that’s a permanent move.”

Halloween Amusingz

My mom loves Halloween and loves my Water Cooler Talk, so here’s the special Halloween edition just for her.

Do skeletons ever have a problem with calcium deficiency?

OMG, Wolfman… two words, con-ditioner.

I must have sang it a thousand times but no one ever smelled my feet and gave me something good to eat.

I hope the homeless won’t misread the situation and think I’m insulting them. I’m just going to be dressed like myself and I can’t afford new clothes yet.

Funny how many parents talk about having to get new candy because they have eaten the Halloween candy prematurely. Do they let their kids indulge early as well?

Did the first TP-ing of a house on Halloween occur when a child’s mummy costume was just too lame for him or her to handle any longer?

I think that acting out at your parents in puberty may have it’s root in trick-or-treating, first it’s Santa and then they steal the good Halloween candy.