A Conversations Between Angels XVI

“What are you looking at?”

“The map.”

“Map.”

“Yeah, the map of Heaven.”

“I didn’t know they had that.”

“Yeah, it’s in the gift shop.”

“And what are you looking for?”

“Hell.”

“Why would they have Hell on a map of Heaven?”

“Well you know, like those mall directories that show ‘you are here’, I thought maybe they’d show you where Hell is.”

“But those things show you what’s in the mall, Hell is not in Heaven.”

“And you know this for a fact? I thought maybe it was like a room for detention like in school.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s a whole ‘nother place, you boob.”

“Then how do you explain how there’s people here, from History, that have been called evil?”

“Like who?”

“Look at that guy over there. He shaved his mustache, but that still looks like Hitler to me.”

“????”

“See, can’t answer?”

“Well not completely, but everything is white up here.”

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A Message from God

 

Hello. ¬†Hello. Is this on? Can you all hear me down there? STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING.

Good. Just listen for a second and then you can get back to totally ignoring all the things I created and go back to obsessing over Twitter.

I just had to speak up because of this whole chicken thing. Dan Cathy of Chick-Fil-A: first off silly name. Second I never said that a marriage is between a man and a woman. No one’s ever talked to me. That’s just what someone wrote way back when in a book. And then it got misinterpreted through the ages. That’s the Word of God as interpreted by someone else.

Here’s the fact. I made everything and then that was that. I made a deal with myself that I would create the Heavens and Earth and then sit back and see what happens. I’m not ready to intervene yet.

I mean My Me. There are far more blunders you all have made that I should have intervened in and given my opinion. In the last 100 years there’s been that guy with the little mustache, the guy with the turban and let’s not forget what the guy did to my only son. Cause he certainly won’t let me forget it!

And they’re all in the name of what people think I say.

Wronnnnng.

And really if I had such an opinion about homosexuality don’t you think I would have done something about the Catholic priests and their proclivities?

And before you all hug yourselves thinking you’re right, Dan Cathy can say whatever he wants to say. You’re not better than he. You didn’t win. You all need to express your opinions, take them in, offer yours and do it all without hurting anyone, judging anyone and causing the media to obsess over it. Because that just breeds more misinterpretation and silly debate. And you do not need that down there. The only things that you should be doing are trying to love each other more and oh, yeah, Gore was right. Figure that mess out and reverse it cause it stinks up here.