The One Thing Apple Gets Wrong


Recently Apple computers reported record sales of their new iPhone 6 but also made a dramatic gain in the laptop computer market, and the reporter commented on how that was probably due to the increase in college students buying Mac over PC. And why not?  Around this time of year there are ads where college students can get a discount or a free iTunes gift certificate (depending on the year or offer) with their purchase. But what about those of us also starting something new? What about us loyal Apple consumers?  Where’s our bonus?

I started a new life when I started a new business two years ago. Why is that any different than a college student, heck at least I won’t be drinking and spilling on the keyboard.

Fancy bagel places have punch cards, fancy coffee places reward their frequent drinkers, how about us frequent bloggers, programmers, artists and social media nuts? I have had four laptops, two iMacs, there iPods and two iPhones. Then of course there’s additional hard drives, accessories, software and One on One Memberships. Where’s my love Apple?

It seems that you buy four, you get the fifth one free. Now I’m not greedy, I’ll leave it up to them as to what’s free—but let’s be sure it’s a device of some kind. I don’t think some bejeweled iPhone case is gonna reward my loyalty and devotion.

Now don’t get me wrong Mr. Cook, I’m a big Apple fan. I want you to know that I have and always will endorse your products. And I will gladly retract this blog if you found it offensive, upon receipt of my new Macbook Pro, as well as write a glowing review. Long Live Mac!

That’s Just Not Her


Yesterday’s post I wrote about my beloved Macbook Pro having been returned to me, but I realized I’d never named her. And I named her Joy. But that’s just not her.


Not that Joy isn’t a great name. And joy is one of my favorite words. My favorite magician, Doug Henning, had a great quote: “When we live with a sense of wonder, out lives become filled with joy.”


Man how true. Joy has become a bigger word to me than even magic, even though it has less letters. But it encompasses everything. And let’s face it, this computer has used it’s warranty three times over in visits to the Apple Store. So if I call her Joy then they’ll be no Joy in my life when the geniuses have her. Although after these last twelve days, I’m not so sure about the “genius” part.


So what to call her? Like I said, Mac is probably already taken. And MB just seems too lazy and unimaginative. I do always say puter instead of computer. Maybe just P. Ha! I said pee.


How about PT? Nah, makes it sound military. What about Put? What about little Pooter? I like that. I think that’s what Mork called Mindy. Little Pooter. And Mork and Mindy is why I got into being a comedian.


That’s it! Pooter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to close her up and seal the new arrangement with a light little stroke. Happy surfing everyone!


She’s Back!

I missed her. So much. My days were not the same without her and twelve days was just too long! But she’s back. My MacBook Pro.


Now just in case, I do have a reason to call her a she. I do remember older men that called their cars a she, but they seemed to do it when they broke down. And even as a young kid I didn’t think that made sense. And I don’t have any homophobia that is preventing calling it a he. It’s just that, well, I like to kiss and touch girls. And I touch my computer. There I admit. I’ll close the lid and lightly stroke it, because as a  writer and web designer, I’ve shared a part of myself. OH ALL RIGHT. I kissed it when it came back! And no, I don’t care if anyone saw me! But I did wait until I got home so no one really did.


But I’m not the same without…oh my, I’ve never given her a name. Hmm. wow this is big. This is important. I can’t just call her Mac, that’s probably taken. What about Minnie? Hmm. Not bad. But Disney might want money. Let’s see, what does she mean to me. Well, last night we lay in bed while Hulu played in the background, her soft sweet glow making me fall asleep while she was still awake.  This morning I didn’t even get out of bed, I couldn’t, I had to touch her. And, oh my, did her keys feel good. The iPhone has been a godsend but it just doesn’t feel the same.


Oh and how we played this morning. Just being together, taking care of the chores: email, getting invoices out and of course she always opens up the world to me through Safari. She is my inspiration, my imagination, my joy.


That’s it. I’ll call her Joy.