The Early Morning Flight


My flight leaves at 6:00am, I didn’t go to sleep because the shuttle was going to be there at 3:00am and I didn’t want to miss it. So tired, sleep deprived, the quiet of the airport as the passengers start to arrive, these are my thoughts.

  1. Why am I and others getting caffeine and sugar and then going to have to sit still for four hours?
  2. If they didn’t have Starbuck’s what would the airport smell like in the morning, the unbathed?
  3. Is being a pilot still really cool and do they make as much money as they did?
  4. What happened to the really hot flight attendants? Is there that many seasons of the bachelor?
  5. If they didn’t invent iPhones and iPads would other people be writing like me, or reading, or would they just be staring blankly like the dude next to me?
  6. Man I hope that woman doesn’t have the seat next to me, she’s rather large.
  7. That one neither.
  8. Holy, S*#t, especially not that one.

Scenes From A Train

I sit on the Blue Line riding towards downtown. In front of me a woman that smells nice is texting on a fake jewel covered phone. Does she think that looks fancy cause I just think it looks gaudy? She’s not a teenager, that I understand and she’s dressed rather lovely. She’s a light skinned Hispanic woman and she’s reading a copy of Ebony magazine. Is her boyfriend African-American or does she just think
Black people are cooler like I do?

The woman beside me is frantically playing solitaire on her phone. Who wakes up and has to play solitaire? I wonder about her gambling problem. She looks very nice, she’s older: gray hair and no wedding ring. I bet she has cats. Lots of them. They sit on her shoulder and her lap while she plays solitaire with real cards. That’s why she plays solitaire on the train! She misses her cats and this quells her depression.

18 out of 30 people on the train are wearing sunglasses. How many are hiding hangovers vs. how many are just tired and want to go back to sleep? The dude with the chin on his chest; will he wake up in time for his stop?

A woman five seats behind me is talking with a gravely voice on her cel phone. Can she not hear very well and not know she’s talking that loud or does she want everyone to know about how her daughter never calls?

Half the people in my immediate perimeter are on cell phones. Are they blogging about me? Yeah well that sweater is not a good color on you lady and seriously dude, a shower would have been thoughtful. Oh crap the woman in the sweater just moved to the seat formerly occupied by unshaven man. She smiled. She wasn’t giving me a dirty look, the sun was in her eyes. I’m sorry about the sweater thing but really you have a nice smile so maybe a brighter green? Oh oh, we just stopped at Slauson station and a mean looking woman just sat down next to her. She’s wearing a Hello Kitty or some Japanese character t-shirt and she’s got to be late 30s, early 40s. Maybe she’s just a smoker. Only the last two fingers of her left hand have nail polish on them. Black. Is that a gang thing? I’m worried about pukey green sweater girl.

What? I have to exit the train? Why???? I’ve been saying this out loud?