Nordstrom Rock

My codename is Fussy Pants*. I’ve just broken a big case and it has to do with the Nordstrom store in Woodfield Mall, Schaumburg, Illinois. I don’t yet know the reprecussions.


My investigation began while another in my party was paying for an item in the men’s department. It was then that I first noticed the motif for the display. There was a pool table underneath a light that might be found in a pool hall. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Well maybe the fact that the mannequins in stores now have no faces at all and it’s just creepy as all get out. I found that out after I had flirted with one of the ones in the women’s lingerie department for fifteen minutes.

But what really struck me in the display was a rather large Marshall guitar amplifier in front of the pool table. Ok, I thought maybe it’s just a case and there’s no “guts” inside, but upon giving it a slight nudge it belied the fact that it was indeed a real amp or there was a dead body inside. But I’ll leave that theory for one of the thirteen CSI television shows. I’m concerned with the mystery of the use of the musical equipment.

Upon further investigation, meaning I looked around, I saw there were indeed a number of cases that would carry musical instruments, cables, microphones, and other assorted audio equipment. Now here’s where my Spidey sense started to tingle—the display was not made up of guitars and drums being held by the mannequins to associate rock and roll with the fashions being displayed. So what was the point of just those pieces of equipment that would be associated with backstage or the roadies?

And then it dawned on me. The floor designer was in a band! Genius! He, or she, could get the store to foot the bill for all the “boring” equipment a band needs, mainly the ATA cases that carry the equipment as well as a few high priced amplification units. And said designer could convince the store owners that it was trendy, industrial, hip, edgy, or retro— any word delivered with a great amount of arm movement and descriptions of color and the store owner is lulled into a false sense of believing they’ve hired a visionary. And the designer’s band hits the road when the fall collection comes out.

That is unless they want to stick around long enough to incorporate ramen noodles into the new line so they’ve got food to last the whole tour.


*Full disclosure, I have been reading a Dan Brown thriller so I could have written too much into this.