The New Identities Part III

The first two parts proved to be pretty popular, so I wanted to do another version of the New Identities because I encountered specialized types of people I’ve encountered commuting on the bus as I did today…

The Blocker

The Blocker sits in the aisle seat when the bus is already crowded. Now I know from observing this type of commuter in multiple situations and routes, they are not going to be getting off soon. Their goal is to attempt to thwart anyone from sitting next to them by making it a difficult task for someone to “crawl” over them and they put a backpack or shopping bags on the seat next to them. They also know that a lot of people that ride the bus are not necessarily social butterflies and will shrink at the idea of asking someone to let them get by.

The Tourist

The Tourist is in fact, not from another city, but an individual that has to talk to the bus driver, standing just behind the line they are not allowed to cross, and run on incessantly about their day. They also try to engage pretty much any passenger that will give them the “in.” I think they’re very lonely and I do feel sorry for them that they have no one to talk to, and I try to politely point to my earphones that I can not hear them.

The Salesman

It is amazing and amusing to me how many people board public transportation selling things. On this particular day I found it very funny that two people got on selling chocolate bars in the 93 degree heat. Hmm, let me at it!  I guess the logic is that the people are captured, tired, hungry and they’re gonna bite (literally.) But especially yesterday, cold water made more sense, know your audience. More power to the entrepreneur, but it seems to me that many riding the bus do not have a lot of disposable income.

The Bench Warmer

Ya gotta love the drunks that sit at the bus stop. They don’t actually get on the bus, they just find it a convenient place where people might have change. They sit with 40 ounce cans in a paper sack and sing and rant on to everyone and no one. Now I do not want to make fun of anyone with mental health issues, I’m talking about the folks that have chosen this as part of they lifestyle. This is their place to party.

More power to the different types of folks, I’m sure they have things to say about me.



Scenes From A Bus

For some reason everyone on the bus stinks this morning. Now I don’t have an overly sensitive nasal machine. I’ve walked hand in hand with girls who then literally wanted to stop and smell the rises and I’d be like “whatever.”. But these aren’t bus smells. This is definitely BO.

Can’t people tell? Don’t they have friends or family that might be able to gently suggest, I.e. get them a gift bag from Bath and Body Works?

I don’t think it’s one person because it’s strong. As a performer I’m really sensitive to body odor for fear it would send some negative publicity out there. Do these people have nowhere to go and it doesn’t matter how they smell? Are they simply going to SA (Smellys Anonymous) meetings and they’re getting support for their problem, after all it is noon and that’s a common time for support meetings?

Is that part of their culture? I know that in some cultures it is different.

Is it their way of making a statement?

Are they fed up with society and government and the wealthy and the 1% and they want to piss off all they can?

Oh my, are they in financial trouble and the water was turned off in their building without advanced notice?

Everyone looks nice. I can’t figure out who it would be.

Oh wait.


I think it might be me.