Hell Hath…It’s Up To You


devil

I don’t know if I believe in heaven and hell, I’m still trying to figure out if I believe in Peter Pan.* But I do know that the devil in me has nasty thoughts some times and one such thought is based on things that people do that I find irritating, as do many. When judgement day came, their hell would be very specific.

People that don’t pick up their dog’s waste…

Are eternally stepping in poop and can never scrape it off.

All reality TV stars, in say, the vein of The Kardashians or The Housewives…

Have to listen to everyone’s problems and can’t say a thing, not even “I know what you mean.”

People who wear track suits as designer wear…

Have to exercise and eat healthy for eternity. And we know everyone else is expecting the exact opposite.

People who are always standing in the middle of the aisle looking at things, irrelevant of who needs to pass…

Are always being bumped into. And no one ever says excuse me.

All grandmother who say “You never call” when it’s not true…

Never stop being called.

For people that pose with the “rock and roll” hand symbol with first finger and pinkie extended and the rest closed, in photographs…

Every being they ever encounter in the after-life does that to them. Even the fish find a way.

And they never stop.

People who ask “is it hot enough for you?”…

Well they’re screwed.

*For those too young to remember, this was from a commercial for Peter Pan peanut butter where the little kid said “I believe in Peter Pan.”

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