Hurry Hurry Hurry

The dishes are done, the tupperware filled, plop plop those fizz fizz and get some relief, it’s time to shop!



Seriously? The stores are going to open on Thanksgiving night? That is just messed up. Give your employees time to want to zip up their pants again. Are retailers really going to make that much money? Is this really going to turn the economy on it’s head?

Boy I’m grateful for a small family right now that I don’t have to race to the store to try and get that bargain. And I didn’t even eat anything for Thanksgiving, my family is in Chicago. I just can’t imagine packing everything up, shooing everyone away and getting to the store. At 8:00 you’re supposed to be nibbling on leftovers even though there’s no room left. That’s the point when the pies and cookies are supposed to come out and you can ingest some sugar to keep you up and make you realize how much of that stuffed bird you stuffed into your fat face.

When will it end? At one point stores opened at 6:00am Friday, then midnight, what’s next-Halloween? Black Friday was so named because stores started to turn a profit. But how can you turn a profit when you’re open earlier and earlier. And what does that do for morale. You already have employees that have to deal with crazy, impatient, demanding customers for the next four to five weeks, does this help? Seems like it hurts more to me.

But what do I know, I was just born with common sense not radical business sense. 

Big Brother is Here and “Boy Do I Have A Deal For You”

The future is here! George Orwell and the great science fiction writers were correct. The age of Big Brother Is Watching has arrived. And it wants to sell you some shoes.

I was browsing on the Internet last night and suddenly noticed all these sidebar ads for gym shoes. Then I realized that they were the same make and model as the ones I had been searching for earlier! They’re in my computer, they’re in my head. Who are they? Can they be stopped?

From what I understand, no. My friend in the e-commerce business told me data is the future and he recounted a story about a young girl who was bombarded by ads for baby clothes and supplies by a major chain. Her father was furious and went to complain. It turns out the girl was pregnant and they knew because she had looked for pregnancy tests. But she didn’t even know for sure yet and her parents had no clue!

I’m sure it’s a bit dramatized and she knew but just didn’t tell her parents, but still we are being watched, and now targeted.

For me it started small and subtly. They would know I lived in Long Beach. Ok with Google maps and wireless and such, I had to accept that. I couldn’t disconnect it.

But then it got more specific. Ads for dating sites popping up. First on Facebook, that made sense since my profile said single. But then more often on random sites I browsed. Who knew? Ah, probably all the job applications I filled out. And all those darn surveys to see if I qualified for a lousy $150 for two hours of my opinions. They didn’t care what I thought, just how to get under my skin. Make me realize how lonely I was and how long it had been since I had a date. Can’t go on a date if you don’t have any money! Ha, Jeff 1.

I don’t know how all the ads for porn sites kept coming up either.  I ONCE went on one of those sites and it was totally by accident. I was surfing for the best price on chicken breasts and it popped up. But now they won’t stop and even the ads show women scantily clad or often topless. It’s shameful. I close those browsers within, like, 3 minutes.

And thank you very much but I don’t need a penis enlargement or Viagra! I think that all my exes can testify to everything being alright down there. They left me for other reasons.

But my problems aside, how far will they go? How deep will they infiltrate to try and sell us something. Right now it’s through spam email and advertising on websites, but could it go further. If you were in the middle of a text with someone and wrote OMG, would a banner ad for the Catholic church appear on your iPhone? And the way that phones are syncing with your computers, is that all just a ruse to make you think it’s simplifying your life. Could you be talking to your grandmother and Hallmark ads appear on your computer, or worse, funeral parlors?!!!

It’s only going to get worse. At one time, we were simply subjected to the local penny saver or obnoxious advertising in our mailboxes, the kind on the street. But now, through the use of subliminal messaging and fast pop ups, we’re in trouble. They’re going to know we need dentures before we do. They’re going to know when it’s time for the colonoscopy. They’re going to know, when we should make sure our affairs are in order. Good luck.

Me, I’m going to find out who owns that site for Mackeeper and tell them to bite me. If anyone can help, please leave a comment.